SATIRE

Become a Dictator in 5 Easy Steps!

For any aspiring Generalissimo’s out there

Photo modified from original by Baldur von Schirach in Deutschland Erwache, 1930

History is full of great civilizations falling to make way for the next one. From Rome to Carthage to Egypt to the Galactic Empire, every society comes to end at some point. And perhaps our time is next, which is terrible for us.

But a great opportunity for you!

We’re currently inhabiting a world with real estate, stock markets, and mythical currencies all experiencing a massive bubble. People are more divided than ever politically. Climate change, a worldwide pandemic, great powers shifting — there couldn’t be a better time to make your own mark.

After all, we have more pseudo dictators than ever before!

So why can’t this be your time to shine? Just in case you have a little too much rectangular hair on your upper lip, here’s your own guide to doing just that.

Step 1: The Right Conditions

Every aspiring dictator needs the perfect society to exist before they can begin basting their career. Luckily for you, the world is now simmering in an oven of discord.

While contemplating your future career path, keep note that occasionally, the conditions will be just right for usurping your…