Satire

Breaking…Congressional Democrats Pass Bill Giving Every American an Apple

No, sillies, the fruit, not the computer

WASHINGTON D.C. Facing pushback by both conservative and liberal members in their ranks, Democratic leaders put their two major spending bills on hold today after long, arduous negotiations.

Fearing electoral backlash, House leaders today instead easily passed a replacement bill that would provide a federal donation of one apple to every American.

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