North Korea Needs a Boy Band

I am not a North Korean expert. I am certainly no fan of its government and abhor its policies trouncing human-rights. I understand the desperation of their authoritarian leaders to maintain a presence on the global stage. Recent tactics have included disappearing acts by the Supreme Leader and blowing up diplomatic buildings. They want to stay relevant. They want to prove their strength and stamina to a skeptical world.

Dennis Rodman has connections. He should suggest to Kim Jong Un a better marketing strategy.

North Korea needs a boy band. They need their own version of K-Pop. Launching dysfunctional missiles and peppering people with paper propaganda from planes is not working. It just looks desperate and deluded. Donald Trump isn’t working out too well for them either. But a boy band, a catchy song, and a fetching music video? This would go viral in a week. It would blow up on IG, TikTok, and YouTube. It would command headline coverage on CNN and the New York Times. The perceived virility of North Korea would increase by a 10x factor in less than a month. It would become hip to pronounce Pyongyang.

It would become hip to pronounce Pyongyang.

I have to think there are a few North Korean adolescent males that can sing and dance. The only photos I’ve seen depicting young North Koreans are of uniformed soldiers and alleged hackers. But with the right image consultant, hair stylist, and producer, the country could introduce a sensation that rivals their K-Pop neighbors. For the song, there are more than a multitude of strapped songwriters in the world: there’s high probability that an unknown captivating melody with an indelible hook is available online. The North Korean state department employs programmers who could easily procure such a song without regard for copyright. It is doubtful that ASCAP or BMI would pursue legal recourse.

Just don’t let the princess sister produce the music video. Yes, it needs be provocative, but in an appealing sort-of-way.

The biggest challenge is what to name the band. NK-Pop pays too much respect to their South Korean adversary. NKOTB can’t be repurposed; amazingly, those “kids” are still cranking. Jong Dong Boys is too risqué, but maybe something along those lines that is more family-friendly.

Dennis, what do you think?