Party Politics — Watch Where You’re Going
Or you will crash — I promise
When I was growing up, we lived on a quiet street on a hill. My best friend’s house was across the street and up the hill a couple of houses. It wasn’t far and the hill wasn’t nearly as steep as I remember.
But in my little kid eyes, the hill was steep and long. To ride my bike to his house, I would always get a run out of my driveway and, pedaling hard and fast, cross the street and ride up and into his driveway.
Every kid knows that you can ride uphill better when standing up on the pedals, usually leaning forward and even looking down at the ground immediately in front of you. This was my daily practice getting to his house. I was always envious that he was able to just glide down the hill on his bike to my house. I never really thought that I got to glide back home.
One sunny summer day when I was seven or eight, I zoomed out of the driveway with uncharacteristic speed and began pedaling as hard as I could across the street and uphill. I gave it my all — this could be a record. I would be there in no time.
BAM!
I flew over the handlebars and landed on the hood of a parked car. My face was plastered on the windshield, my arms and legs flailing out in all directions across the hood of that stupid car.
I hit it head-on. My face hurt. My hands hurt and I was shocked. Who parked this car here? Jerk. Who would do that? I was hurt, embarrassed, and mad. I slowly climbed off the hood and looked around. I didn’t see anyone. Maybe no one saw me. I picked up my bike and that’s when I noticed that the handlebars were bent crooked.
That was all I could take. I turned around and walked my bike back toward my own house. I gave up and just went home.
Political Juxtaposition
What does this story have to do with politics? Good question.
In response, answer me this. Do you think the Republican Party leadership has been watching where it was going over the past few years? Of course they haven’t. Now they are spread akimbo across the hood of a 1971 Nova.
They are hurting. The handlebars are bent crooked and maybe the rim is even bent from the head-on impact with the bumper.
Now what?
Here’s what I would tell them: Gather up the pieces. Pull yourselves together and live to fight another day.
Most importantly, learn from your mistakes and fix what’s wrong. Plan ahead. Watch where you are going and don’t be afraid to change direction if needed. Steer around any parked cars.
Another Bike Story
When I was young, there were many vacant lots and fields around our neighborhood. There were lots of bicycle trails and paths through and around the fields. Trails blazed by kids for fun and for shortcuts.
If you walked along any of these trails, you would notice a curious thing — there were holes dug in the middle of these trails with the excavated dirt piled on the uphill side of the hole. Curious oddity? Yes, but let me explain.
These little mounds were bicycle jumps. We would pedal as fast as we could, sail off the jump, and fly over the hole. One kid was always stationed to the side of the jump to make a line in the dirt to mark your landing. We had to know who went the farthest.
Now the key point of this story is that hole in the trail on the downhill side of the jump. We would pile into that hole, sitting or lying down to watch as the bikes flew over us.
When the kids were in the hole and ready, it was standard practice for the jumper to yell, “Here I come!” as a warning.
One summer afternoon, we were in the field across the street from my house, taking turns jumping and marking and watching from the hole as bikes jumped. At one point, I was in the hole with my little brother and one other kid — three of us in the hole.
This older kid, the jumper, claims he yelled his warning. The other kids say they heard him yell. But I didn’t hear anything. No one yelled — at least not that I heard — and I began to wonder why he wasn’t jumping. What was taking him so long?
I peeked up out of the hole to see.
BAM!
The next thing I remember was me trying to lift myself out of the hole. My head really hurt and I couldn’t move, so I just laid there. I opened my eyes to see four or five kids looking down at me. I tried to be tough, so I tried to stand up, but I was too light-headed.
Apparently, as my friends later explained, just as I peeked up over the dirt, the bike zoomed off the jump, its spinning tire hitting me square in the forehead — knocking me out cold. It took the skin off half of my forehead and the right side of my head, leaving a big bruise right in the center of my face and forehead.
Further Political Juxtaposition
Okay, Republican Party, a bit more political advice. This story is for you.
Pay attention. Listen. Think before you act. Wise people are always there for you. But there are also people there for you who claim to be wise and experienced who are not. They are only concerned about their own welfare, not yours, and certainly not concerned about the masses, the other 370 million people of the nation.
I believe this is what has happened to the Republican Party. The party is lying in a hole in the middle of a vacant lot while others stare down wondering what the heck they were thinking.
So I say — let’s start planning ahead. Watch, pay attention, and listen. Listen to who? The rational people who are ready to vote conservative. To whatever rational leadership we have left. I said rational. I mean rational.
The party has made the mistake over the past several years of listening to irrational conservatives and, at times, not paying attention or listening at all. Voting for leaders and representatives who are irrational. They don’t listen; they haven’t watched where they were going. Now we are looking down at a wrecked party, at an insurrection in the name of the party, and at a party without rational leadership.
Please, let’s heed the advice of an adult who has hopefully learned from the mistakes he made as a nerdy kid riding a bicycle in 1973.
