Humor
Rootin’ Tootin’ Karen Putin
Vlad’s middle name is not Vladimirovich
First the disclaimer. To the people actually named “Karen,” we love you for who you really are, and do not find you in any way connected to this stereotype. Hang tight, it will all blow over. (Just like the slang meaning of “Randy.”)
Is Vlad a Karen?
After intense research, the following “Qualifications for Karenhood” have been determined:
An unquestioned belief in one’s entitlement
Not only do Karens feel entitled to special considerations, they know others are not. In fact, others need to adapt to the special needs of the Karen.
Self-righteous anger
Karens would not be Karens without displays of anger. These nonsensical displays fully expose a belief in Karen’s exceptionalism. Rules? Like Leona Helmsley’s edict regarding taxes, Karen believes that inconvenient rules are for the little people.
Lack of behavioral filters
Expect Karen’s reaction to perceived transgressions to be completely out of proportion. Unreasonable escalation is a key indicator of Karenhood. And don’t tell a Karen to calm down. The suggestion will only cause a doubling of the display of self-righteousness.
Oblivious member of a privileged class
Karen decries the unfairness of the world. Karen completely forgets any personal advantages when confronted with an inconvenience. “Woe is me, and you’re gonna pay!”
Inclusive classification
Though the actual name “Karen” is almost always assigned to women, the stereotype is not so limited. Hence a Y chromosome does not eliminate the curse of Karenism.
Let’s see how Vladimir scores.
Entitlement
In 2005, Mr. Putin said, “…the demise of the Soviet Union was the greatest geopolitical catastrophe of the century. As for the Russian people, it became a genuine tragedy. Tens of millions of our fellow citizens and countrymen found themselves beyond the fringes of Russian territory.”
There is no question Vlad thinks that his control of people and territory should go well beyond the borders of Russia. He believes it is his right, embodying Russia, to reclaim these sovereign nations. The Holodomor is preferable to independence, no?
Self-righteous anger
War is borne of anger. Though no threat to Russia, the “Nazis” must be removed from Ukraine. By any means necessary.
Lack of behavioral filters
Attacking and destroying an entire country in service of avaricious goals seems rather extreme, does it not? The actions of little green men in Crimea were so much more efficient. And now Vlad’s cronies warn of escalation that may result in “unpredictable consequences.”
Oblivious member of a privileged class
Mr. Putin, one of the monetarily richest men in the world, needs more. In a world economy, where international trade (among other means) has enriched him and his country, he engages in actions that imperil his nation’s standing and prosperity. Clearly, privileged Vlad did not understand just how good he had it.
No debate necessary.
Rootin’ Tootin’ Lootin’ Shootin’ Putin is a Karen.
With H-bombs.
Thanks to Ed Covannon for the title and thought process.
