POLITICAL SATIRE WITH TOO MUCH TRUTH
Senator Werewolf
Much better than Senator Vampire
“I don’t know if you know, but vampires are some cool people, are they not? But let me tell you something that I found out: A werewolf can kill a vampire. Did you know that? I never knew that.
“So, I don’t want to be a vampire anymore, I want to be a werewolf.”
Note that the above quote is not satire. It is an actual statement from Herschel Walker, currently in a run-off election in Georgia for a Senate seat. This guidance is offered in hopes that readers will not confuse horror/fantasy movies with reality.
Regardless, what is Mr. Walker trying to say? Bloodthirsty (literally!) vampires are cool, but because werewolves are able to kill them, they are cooler? Hence coolness is equivalent to killing ability.
Also, Mr. Walker says he does not “want to be a vampire anymore.” Anymore? He previously wanted to be a vampire? He wanted to be a being who cares only for the taste of the blood of his victims? Or maybe he is currently a vampire.
Wow. Just wow.
But back on November 8, nearly half of Georgia felt he should represent the state in the US Senate. So it’s quite possible the questions above are irrelevant. Let us not be handicapped by logic once again, since in Georgia and much too far beyond, logic is moot.
That being the case, for the good of the country, there is only one choice for senator in Georgia: Herschel Walker!
Senator Herschel Walker!
Yes, Walker is our man. As the “Werewolf of the Senate,” he will tear through the Senate killing vampires!
Goodbye Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, Rick Scott, Lindsay Graham, Josh Hawley, and many more. Thanks to Senator Walker, you will suck the blood out of America no more.
