POLITICAL SATIRE
Souls For Sale! Souls For Sale!
I got all the best!
“Souls for sale! Souls for sale!”
“Souls, you say, Donald? Interesting. Can I see them?”
“Of course, Red! You’ll like the selection. Believe me, it’s the biggest collection anywhere.”
“Oh my, yes, you have quite a fine collection here, and I should know. I’m something of a collector myself, always adding to my collection. Do you mind if I smoke?”
“Not at all. Hey, that’s a neat trick, smoking without a cigarette. Kind of a vaping thing.”
“All natural, I assure you. But tell me, how did you acquire all these souls?”
“I am the only one who can do what I do. It’s the art of the deal. I let them in on what I can do for them, and what could happen if they don’t cooperate, and point out they aren’t likely to be using their souls anyway. Then they give me their souls, of their own free will, of course.”
“Nice! I see you have a Stefanik, a Rubio, and a Graham. Are there more?”
“Oh yeah, it’s a YUGE collection. You’ll want a McCarthy and a Cruz and a Paul.”
“Is that Ru or Rand?”
“You’ll be glad to know it’s Rand. Ru is such a drag.”
“How about a Cheney?”
“Sorry, don’t have that one. Surprising, I’ll admit. There’s something seriously wrong with her. Sad.”
“I suppose you can’t get them all. How about a McConnell?”
“Don’t have that one either, I’m afraid. But that’s only because he never had a soul.”
“Too bad, but I think I’ll take the entire collection anyway.”
“You won’t be sorry! It’s the best!”
“You could be right! It’s been a pleasure doing business with you!”
“You as well. Be sure to come back for more.”
“But I’ve taken your entire collection.”
“Never mind that. You’ll want to return late in 2024.”
“What for?”
“Then I’ll have the soul of America for you.”
