The Comprehensive Pro-Life Constitutional Amendment
A day in the life
“Isn’t our baby cute?”
“What? I mean, WHAT!”
“Junior, say, ‘Hello’ to your Daddy.”
“HAH! You say I am the one, but the kid is not my son.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. In fact, you’ll have to prove it.”
“Cut the bullshit. We hardly know each other. And he is nothing like me.”
“Oh, I don’t know. He cries most of the time, and lays in shit of his own making.”
“Very funny. Now get lost.”
“Not until you rub this swab around your mouth.”
“Forget it.”
“Don’t make this difficult. Don’t make me get a court order.”
“You can’t do that. And for what!?”
“Yes I can, and for your DNA. The Comprehensive Pro-life Constitutional Amendment has just gone into effect. The amendment makes it quite clear that since abortion is no longer legal, the responsibility for child-rearing is shared.”
“You’re nuts.”
“Actually, it was yours. Then, according to the law, I gave birth to a child. Since it takes two to tango, and there is no support for any recent immaculate conceptions, Junior and I have the right to determine his daddy and require him to provide us with the life to which we would like to become accustomed.”
“You’re not going to take away my freedom!”
“Not at all! You’ve already used your freedom. It’s just that now you have to pay for it. By law, both of us have a duty to be responsible for Junior’s upbringing.
“Just swab your mouth. Maybe you’ll get lucky. But don’t count on it.”
“I’m not responsible. It’s my DNA, and you’re not getting any of it. Leave me alone.”
“Follow the news, Johnny. I have no right to determine what happens to my body, and now neither do you. But you have to admit being forced to provide a little spit is nowhere near the burden of carrying and spitting out Junior. So you still get off easy.”
“So shut up, put down your beer, and open wide.”
