The Transformation of Family
In recent decades the social incentive for marriage has decreased and the number of babies born to young women who do not live with the baby’s father has dramatically increased. Although the structures and definitions of family have radically changed, the goals and aims of parenthood have not — so within these new structures how do young fathers find a way to support their children and partners? In this excerpt from Lost and Found, authors Dr. Paul Florsheim and Dr. David Moore explore this question.
If marriage has become less compelling (and therefore less “adhesive”), then the question rises: Are there other viable ways to create stable and secure families? In her book Mothers and Others, Sarah Hrdy proposed that human beings have always utilized a collaborative approach to child- rearing to help ensure that babies are not left to depend solely on their mothers, who, in turn, are not left to depend solely on their partners. Drawing parallels to primate societies, where mother monkeys routinely receive help from other members of their community, Hrdy believes that human mothers are designed to enlist the support of others, including other father figures. She does not discount the central role of fathers, noting that most mothers also rely on their support, but she suggests that mothers throughout history and across cultures have long recognized that the “nuclear family” is not always the safest bet. Although Hrdy’s human research focuses on far away cultures, such as the Yanomamo in Venezuela and the Ache of Paraguay, she is clearly addressing a Western audience and making an important point about family life in the 21st century. Indeed, Hrdy describes how women in other cultures use a variety of strategies for managing and responding to the uncertainties that threaten their children’s survival. This may involve flirtations with other men, designed to keep them interested as potential father replacements, and looking to extended family members for support.
Hrdy’s work challenges us to consider how traditional family roles and structures may be impeding our ability to adapt to changing social and economic circumstances. Without marriage, how can we create stable and secure families that produce psychologically healthy children? The dynamics of family life, including the fundamental structure of relationships between mothers, fathers, and children, have changed quite dramatically over the past several decades, concretely evident in the widening diversity of family types. This diversity is celebrated by some who see the traditional family as too constrictive and protested by others who worry that some of this diversity is dysfunctional, doing a disservice to children.
Young men and women today are confronted with relationship challenges that require a level of interpersonal understanding and skill that many don’t have. Not yet.
Although our definitions of family continue to change, the fundamental goals of co- parenting and parenting have remained relatively constant over time because children’s essential emotional needs have not changed. The problem is that meeting those goals is more complicated because family relationships are more fluid and complex in 21st- century America than they were in the mid- 20th century. Young men and women today are confronted with relationship challenges that require a level of interpersonal understanding and skill that many don’t have. Not yet.
Frank Furstenberg, a sociologist at the University of Pennsylvania who spent much of his long career studying young mothers and fathers, recently pointed out that the family is always evolving and adapting to rapidly changing social, cultural, and economic forces.23 Somewhat surprisingly, Furstenberg seems nonplussed about the current changes that are occurring between men and women, recognizing that there may be hidden value in more flexible definitions of father, mother, and family.
I see this process of uncoupling and recoupling of discrete elements of marriage, family, and kinship as inevitable as the family system in different social strata adapts to changing economic, cultural, and social conditions. Whether this means that the institution of marriage and family is “declining” in importance . . . is in my view still an open and unsettled question.
Fortunately, the capacity to be flexible is built into our DNA. A father’s ability to adequately support his child’s development may depend on how flexible we (as a society) can be about defining and supporting a wider range of father roles.
As Furstenberg suggests, families can — and will — change to meet new challenges and opportunities, including dramatic changes to our economy. Fortunately, the capacity to be flexible is built into our DNA. A father’s ability to adequately support his child’s development may depend on how flexible we (as a society) can be about defining and supporting a wider range of father roles. Without necessarily rejecting the idea of father as provider and protector, we can still support viable alternatives. The gradual changes in social roles for men and women (subsequent to women achieving more rights) raised new questions about the nature of masculinity and the essence of fathering in our collective consciousness. It is hard to know if our perception that fathering — for most of history and in most cultures — has been about breadwinning and protecting is an accurate reflection of reality or just perception. Whatever the case may be, it wasn’t until the 1960s that scholars began to seriously question and study the nature of fatherhood at all.
Paul Florsheim, PhD, is a Professor in the Joseph J. Zilber School of Public Health at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, where he to work with young fathers and their families. His research on young families has been supported by grants from the National Institutes of Health, the Office of Population Affairs, and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation.
David Moore, PhD, is a Professor of Psychology at the University of Puget Sound. Dr. Moore has authored multiple publications in the areas of teen parenting, adolescent and adult development, and romantic relationships.
