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Not Too Old To Kick Ass
We forget that we elders still have a role to play, but it comes with more time to do what we like.
The process of growing old is not unlike constipation— so much effort with little results! No matter how much Oil of Olay or Grecians Formula we slather all over our potato sack bodies, we will grow older. Then…well, we will be implanted in or scattered over the earth. But we can cozy up to our elder selves with great fondness. Maybe not the same love we had for ourselves when we were youthful, beautiful, and still had all the cartilage in our knees. Oh, the days of old when we chose our clothing because it looked good on us. We bought shoes because of how bitchenly rad they looked on our skinny, youthful feet and not because “These ones are wide enough not to hurt my bunions.” Yes, the days of elastic waistbands and Velcro shoelaces are here! You can dress however you’d like as you race toward the finish line… but how will you finish? How the chapter will read that tells the story of your Golden years is entirely up to you.
Eldership is something that I have only just begun. But it’s on my mind a lot. Suppose we look at the Golden years as troubling, awful, or regretful. In that case, we will lose our chance at leaving a magnificent legacy behind after we are otherworldly. Or we can greet the wrinkles, hair loss, sagging breasts, and love handles with grace and finesse. The fact that you will never get off the floor again without making the huffing and grunting noises — a bull moose in heat — should never deter you from this grace and finesse. Yes, this phase of life will take us all to the back room, and we will get a lap dance from the Grim Reaper! But this is the phase when we become elders.
A few years ago, I drove a Senior Citizen bus. I moved Senior citizens around the city of Las Vegas. The average age of my passenger was between the age of 85 and 96 years old! I took them to the doctor, the grocery store, and of course, the casinos. There was a man that rode my bus who was 96 years old. He was in good health. He walked with a walker, but he looked like he was 60 or 70. All he did was bitch about not being dead already. He’d lament, “Why, oh why am I still here?” I said, “Joe, you’re here to play the slots. You’re here to have lunch with your friends and do whatever the hell you want.” I pointed to some construction workers, and I said to him, “Do you see that guy up on that roof swinging a hammer in the Vegas heat? He wishes he had your life. And one day, he will have your life because he will have earned it. Just like you.” Still, he never changed. Why didn’t Joe change? He was not reproducing the wisdom that he had acquired throughout life. He had no one to pour into. But we, the elders of the earth, have a job, and it is to implant our wisdom and knowledge and it will be scattered throughout the generation behind us. Listen, we can complain that millennials can’t drive stick-shift or write in cursive. But who are you going to call anytime you need your computer fixed, or when your cell phone contacts disappear? Because they have value, do they not? But you, you wonderfully aging specimen, are priceless — like an artifact, Indiana Jones is looking for!
You might say, “Oh, but no one wants to hear from me.” Yes — we all do, your grandchildren, your neighbors, your children. Folks want to hear from you. Regardless of their facial expressions or blank stares, or lack of response, they listen to you. They want you and value your wisdom more than you may believe.
I live with two of my five grandkids. I take what I say seriously because of the legacy I want to leave behind. When they’re trying to navigate the shit life tosses at them, all of the trauma, heartbreak, and sorrow that we overcame is in play. You get to tell them or show them how you survived, and how you got back up on your feet to keep moving forward in life. Show them how you didn’t give up. They need to hear what I have to say and not just words of correction, words of encouragement. Not saying that you’re too old to kick some ass if they need it but, they want to hear about what things were like when you were a kid. They need to listen to the stories of you getting into mischief, your first date, and your first love, how your heart was broken and how you lived. Tell them your regrets and the things you’re thankful for. All of that means so much to them. And if it doesn’t seem to mean much to them today, they’ll remember your stories when you aren’t here to share them anymore, and they’ll share them with their children when they remember you with fondness… which is called legacy.
Countless stories have a character which is an old person that lives on the edge of the village. It is usually some crazy old witch or a nutty old man. That crazy old witch or junk dealer or bartender is the character with the answers. Can you guess where I am going? Look, you and I don’t really have the energy to change the world by our physical strength anymore. That’s someone else’s job now. We had our chance. It’s now time to turn the world over to them. That goes for your church or whatever kind of community you belong to. You may be the patriarch or the matriarch of your family. Still, there’s a time coming when you’ve just got to settle back and let the younger folk take over, and you become the crazy old witch at the edge of the town that people come to listen to. All that crap that you’ve been through, all of the victories, the mistakes, all the trials and tribulations that got you here. We forget that we still have a role to play, but it comes with more time to do what we like. You get time to sit on the porch, drink iced tea, smoke it up, and live it up. These time perks are our bonus reward while still puttering about the planet. It’s the good shit we get for putting up with all that crappy shit we had to deal with. Legacy may be the only real thing of value we have…and we leave it behind.
I heard a story once about Grandma Moses, who started painting at the age of 78. It was said that the night before she passed away, at 101years old, that she had written her goals for the next 10 years. What kind of goals did she have in that ten-year plan that had her living until her 111th birthday? She believed in something bigger than herself and she carried on as if she were going to live forever. I’m not saying that we have the grandiose plans as Grandma Moses, but her mindset was remarkable. She left behind a great legacy — so great that you are reading her 60 years after her passing!
I say all that just to say that it is far, far from over, my friend. You have tons to offer this world.
As a guy who has just begun his season of eldership, I have already learned that I do not need to show anyone how I would do a certain task or how I would approach life. I just offer myself when invited. What people really want is your wisdom and guidance. We are not tasked with providing the blueprint. Most care more about what you think, what you see with that Elder’s Third Eye, and what wisdom you can impart. It’s not our job to necessarily do anything physically. It is our job to advise.
I think you and I are fortunate enough to still be here and to still hang around and get to see our grandchildren and great-grandchildren and what our children become. I’m not saying they’re not going to be irritating or that they’re not going to cause you some heartache and pain. But the healing that you bring is priceless. Reproducing yourself and opening your heart is only going to benefit the world. You are still important! Don’t sell yourself short! This world needs elders to stand up and show people how to tackle life because you have the life experience.
One of the things that you and I will most likely agree on is that love works. This world is never going to heal from all of the hurtful junk that’s out there right now until we teach the world to love. I think you and I can do it. If the elders have any job, love is it. Just remember that life, from birth to the grave, is an occasion; let’s all rise to it… rise as slowly as you need to but… rise to your occasion!
Love and balance,
~R
© Rudy Trussler 2021
