I've been a poly male in what I've called “the lifestyle” for years. About eight years now, having my first encounter with an engaged couple when I was 25 and been LOVING it since. Glamour and fun aside, I’ve met a lot of people that were at various stages in their journeys; couples with black dick fetishes, single divorcees with new found sexuality, married stay-at-home moms with overworked husbands, men who like to watch while their wives get their brains fucked out, the list goes on and on.
Point being, I have had my fair share of experience. The most fun that I have in the lifestyle has been my experience with couples, where I can witness all kinds of iterations of love intertwined with lust, but all combining in an experience where people are being real with each other and allowing their partners to fulfill even the most taboo of fantasies.
You take vows, you make commitments. You’re not supposed to love anyone else, much less fuck them crazy while their hubby sits back with the popcorn….or is on he other side putting a girl’s multitasking skills to test. Existing in that world and seeing people functioning perfectly normal as members of society, I've been hooked from day one and have finally come to terms that this is the life that I want to pursue and create for myself. Las Vegas just happens to be a great place to help the transition as a single to true poly, Sin City has its name for a reason! In the past couple years I’ve been here, I’ve managed to maintain one consistent poly relationship (with the most awesome couple I’ve ever met and she’s SUPER sexy mmm!), but have also come into and lost more than I can can probably even remember.
Although it’s fun to fuck people and realize your fantasies on a consistent basis on various levels, it’s draining to go through the rigor of love gained and lost so often. When you’re in a poly situation, there are so many people involved that all come from different backgrounds who all have their own version of love, lust, and the fantasy they want to create for themselves and their partners. And you could potentially be juggling more than one of those at a time. On top of that, if you’re lucky enough to be the one coming into an already-existing relationship then you’re fighting the fact that you’re on the outside and have to let those you’re involved with work out their lives and situations before you can even begin to touch sensitive subjects. The closer that you become with others in your relationships, of course, the better your chances of having confidence in your voice as a member of a real relationship. Otherwise you doom yourself to experiencing multiple situations of loneliness all at once that can affect the other relationships or other parts of your life. And loneliness is possible even when you have multiple intimate partners. I experience it all the time.
But just like in mono relationships, things can change and people’s feelings towards each other can evolve. Sometimes you encounter singles and couples that are right on point with your thoughts and feelings, and when those come along and are lost it hurts immensely.
I’m 33 years old, been poly for 8 years, but lying to myself and others about what I am for 8 years thinking I can exist otherwise (let’s just say many mono situations have come and gone in that time). I battle with how to engage the vanilla world daily, but have recently decided that creating my own universe with others that have similar ideas is paramount. I’m not a numbers kiss-and-tell guy on that level, but I have had relationships with single women and couples that have come and gone since I chose to be more open. It seems though, that every time I really try and let walls down to be inserted seriously into other’s situations, something happens and it’s back to square one.
This past weekend alone, I had an encounter with a new couple and a few others….awesome night of dinner, drinks, conversation, fondling, disrobing, and enjoying each other to the limits of limits!!! But, a few days afterwards and texts exchanged it seems like things might already be headed south with the new couple. I thought we all had a good time? Once again, the outsider is left to wait until others figure out their situations before he can interject. It’s not you, it’s me? It’s not us, it’s you? I have dinner soon to discuss the night of the party and to see what’s up in general with my place in their lives. Who knows what I’ll hear, but nothing could really surprise me at this point.
I’m more than grateful for the relationships I've been able to maintain and especially those that I've been able to build and strengthen over time. Closeness leads to phenomenal connection and fucking that’s out of this world! But the coming and going of the others in the background is tiring.
At least I’m in Vegas, and there’s always a visitor or two letting loose….temporary fixes are still fixes.