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How to Reject Noncompatible People You Care About When You Are Polyamorous
My mantra: even though I can have multiple partners, it does not mean everyone is a good match for me.
Dating is abysmal here. When I think about how many variables are involved in being compatible with someone else, it feels like I'm on a quest for the holy grail. I want passionate, engaging, witty, and fun potential partners that share some of my interests. I want to keep my solo-poly lifestyle, stay child-free, and stay off the relationship escalator. I want people who have their lives figured out, and being polyamorous isn't an experimental phase. Although I'd consider dating someone with a nesting partner, I'd prefer to find solo people. I know what I'm looking for; I haven't found them yet.
A month ago, I received a promising message from someone on OkCupid. He also acts in various theatrical productions, and we have spent time discussing our current artistic endeavors. I asked him if he was polyamorous, and he said it "sounded good" because he has a lot of female friends, so the principle of having multiple partners that enrich life in different ways made sense to him. This statement still didn't quite convince me that he isn't in an experimental phase with this lifestyle. However, I was under the impression he didn't…
