I Changed My Mind About Monogamy
…and how I wanted to live my life
Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
– George Bernard Shaw
Changes happen all the time. The nature of life is fluid and uncertain, but we, humans, resist this part of reality. We like when things are stable, predictable, and in our control. Sure, some element of surprise is okay, but wouldn’t it be nice if we could control how many surprises we actually get?..
When my husband and I decided to open our marriage, I had a vision of what our life would be like. I hoped I’d compartmentalize my various needs among a few partners and I’d live happily ever after, showered by the love of multiple people.
Well… that wasn’t exactly what happened. Sure, I compartmentalized for a few years until I understood that I didn’t have to. I learned to love myself and replaced a few semi-satisfying relationships with one that had such an abundance of love that I didn’t have to scramble for it among multiple people anymore.
Going from a monogamous marriage to polyamory was not easy. When I admitted to myself and, eventually, to my husband that I needed more than the normal life we had, everything changed. Thankfully, he was supportive of my needs and was willing to take that…
