Married Seeking Married: Why I Stopped Dating Single Men
Learning how to communicate my needs and balance my polyamorous life
Five years ago, when I first began dating as a married woman in an open relationship, I wasn’t sure what kind of man would come my way. It felt nice to no longer try to hide the fact that I was married for fear of rejection or to be seen as some aberration. I found the open nature of my situation to be like a big neon flag: I’m married!
However, as I began my foray into dating after never really dating before (I met my husband at 22), describing it as challenging would be an understatement.
First off, I got to know the app Tinder as a place where I had a huge variety of men at my disposal. At first, it was fun to swipe through the pictures and “match” with someone. I didn’t want to pay for the service, so when I saw that I had 99+ likes in the first two days, I couldn’t believe my luck. You mean 99 guys out there like me?
Learning the ropes, I finally matched with a few men and had conversations, but nothing was really materializing as fast as I assumed it would (contrary to my 99+ mystery likes). Then I finally got a match and conversed with a guy who was single and who I was really attracted to. We made plans to get a drink the following week at a local…
