My Journey to Polyamory… and Back
And what I learned along the way
There are two main reasons why people in monogamous relationships decide they are polyamorous:
- Some critical component is missing in their relationship, and they are [subconsciously] trying to find a more compatible partner
- Their primary relationship is very secure, with crucial needs met, and they have an ability and desire to give love to and connect with others in addition to their primary partner.
When my husband and I decided to open up our marriage, I truly believed that this decision was coming from a place of abundance of love. I thought I had so much of it that it would be enough to share with more than one person. I thought my marriage was absolutely solid and new relationships would not have any effect on it whatsoever.
Turns out I was wrong.
I am still processing what happened. I feel the urge to explain it to anyone who is considering opening up their relationship, to my husband, and to myself.
Deciding to open up our marriage was like taking the red pill. We had no idea what we were doing, we didn’t know if we could go back to life as we knew it, and yet we were willing to see how deep the rabbit hole went. Staying monogamous would have been like taking the blue pill…
