On the Non-Monogamy Spectrum
Ambiamory and my relationship identity
A little over three years after my husband and I opened up our 20-year monogamous marriage, I am still struggling to find where I fit into non-monogamy. I recently wrote about my discovery of the term ambiamory, a relationship orientation wherein the person can be perfectly happy being in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship, depending on the situation. After spending so much energy trying to decide if I was polyamorous or not, it was a liberating discovery to find that I don’t have to fit into either box.
I love my husband very much. We have a wonderful history and our relationship was built on mutual respect and admiration. We have a family and have built a life together. When we decided to become polyamorous, it was not without deep thought and much discussion. We knew we were risking what we had built.
Now we find ourselves on the precipice of marital disaster, staring over the edge and trying desperately to find our way back from the brink. What brought us here is complicated and deep. Insecurities and co-dependency well hidden in monogamy were flushed out with a spotlight in polyamory. We are committed to working together to address our issues, something that requires brutal honesty and introspection. We do it for our marriage, but we also do it for ourselves. After…
