Sex Therapist: “Men Don’t Go to Therapy Until Their Dicks Stop Working.”

A Polyamorist’s Point of View of Midlife Sex & Unmet Expectations

Yes, swords, men, music. Go with it. (Photo by Author)

I’ve talked a lot about therapy, and sex with men, and I’ll do it again.

Women are awakening to the power of their midlife sexuality on a broad scale (and thus, that’s why there are increased efforts to quash it), but they are having trouble matching up with the men they are in relationships with. This mismatch can be exponential for a polyamorous woman with more than one male partner.

When I was interviewing the sex therapist quoted in the headline, she added this about men:

“Once their thoughts affect their ability to get an erection, THEN they realize there’s a problem.”

The problems may not actually be related to sex. There may be additional anxiety or stress, and those things can be tracked back to work or family issues, to self-esteem or old unresolved trauma. A sex therapist has the unenviable work of untangling each ball of yarn with her clients until it starts to make sense. Sometimes they continue working on it with their partners in joint sessions, and sometimes it’s outside of those, where they have to try to do it one on one.

But here’s what’s really interesting to me about this: there are physical causes of what’s…