What Dating While Polyamorous is Really Like
20 years ago, I never imagined that my early 30s would become so humorously reminiscent of the time spent on AOL at 18. Figuring out how to hook up when I became single wasn’t hard, but when it came to wanting to make deeper connections and actually date, there was definitely a learning curve.
In some ways, polyamorous dating is just like any other dating. You meet people, you feel it out, sometimes there’s chemistry and sometimes there isn’t. In other ways, it becomes much more complicated, and you end up facing challenges you wouldn’t face in monogamous dating.
I have a boyfriend, but…
When you’re in a committed open relationship, ‘are you single’ is no longer a yes or no question. Figuring out when to reveal your relationship status is a challenge of dating more than one person simultaneously. It’s worked best for me to be up front with any potential connections. It’s clear on my dating profiles, and I include it in any personal ads I post. Waiting to tell someone and then finding out they’re not okay with it is a waste of time. Why forge a connection with someone only to find out AFTER the sparks start flying that we’re not compatible?
Meeting people off-line and outside of apps is a bit more complicated. I have to figure out when and how to inject my current relationship…
