Why Polyamory Didn’t Work For Me
It’s the balance between privacy and complete honesty
I thought I was polyamorous, but it turns out I am monogamish. Both are types of open relationships, both have some degree of involvement with others… TomAYto — tomAHto, you might say, isn’t it the same thing?
Not for me.
I define polyamory as the freedom to ethically explore feelings and meaningful connections with more than one person.
The most fitting definition for a monogamish relationship that I found is from Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist. He explains monogamish as “people who are largely monogamous with a primary partner but occasionally, or rarely, engage in romantic or sexual contact with another partner.” It’s basically monogamy with a bit of wiggle room… ahem… literally.
For a few years, I thought that polyamory was what I wanted. Then I changed my mind, and I am very happy with my partner in our monogamish relationship.
I have finally figured out why polyamory didn’t work for me.
I believe that in order to be in multiple relationships, all involved either have to be very open, enlightened masters of communication or be very private people and be okay not discussing much at all. I am…
