Confession Syndrome
why less-is-more on inter-personal advice with the gods
Okay, so I made up Confession Syndrome. That’s not a real term, I don’t think. Or if it is a real term that you’re familiar with, that’s not what this is about — sorry.
It’s a very real thing in the polytheist community. Kind, open-armed polytheists answer questions and read about beginner’s faiths all day every day. They might say what they have done recently in their faith, and then ask if it is okay. Or ask lots of other things:
- how to start their worship
- how do they know which god to pick
- what is okay to offer their gods —
- what to do for the gods —
- what to think of them!
Confession Syndrome is experienced by (probably everybody) thousands of fledgling polytheists who see certain individuals as their most trustworthy source. Not ordained priests, just regular people on a blog.
I know of these individuals, and I love many of them. They are some of the most warm and gentle people I have encountered. They are always pleasant and immensely support the community to uphold ideals, crush hate, and console worshipers who are terrified of messing things up.
So, if people are seeking guidance are asking for help — and people are willing to help them… what’s wrong with it?
Well — nothing’s “wrong” with it, or the people who give the advice.
The issue I see is this: there isn’t enough advise that simply says, “You have to figure it out.” No matter how many times I see it, isn’t enough. I understand that people want to talk about their faith, and they need to be reassured that everything is okay (trust me, I know this one too well). However, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to rely on outside sources for something that is ultimately yours. I feel like a lot of people are a little daunted by that fact, so I’ll say it again:
Your faith is yours. Your gods are yours.
When I see bloggers receiving dozens of the same questions over and over, I cannot help but yearn for the people asking the questions. I don’t blame them for asking, I just wish it was more common. Almost all book recommendations are introduced with, “This author is not very knowledgeable but claims to be,” or “These ‘facts’ aren’t true at all,” and the dreaded, “This doesn’t apply to all faiths, only Wicca.”
It’s not enough. I would love to see somebody ask for resources to help guide them and they can give a list of books that doesn’t have any disclaimers attached to it. These people need more resources that aren’t biased, problematic, or flat out wrong — what they need is more generalization. More modern approaches. More reasonable voices that can be heard where they’re at from voices just like theirs.
(Just like mine.)
I want to give them a resource that puts themselves at the forefront of their faith. I’ll get there one day. Until then, fortunately, a large majority of the people who answer these Confessions every day already know and say the exact same thing: “You’re doing fine, but you have to feel it out for yourself.”
The things I regret about my old advice were that it could have been more vague, more thought-provoking.
Giving advice on polytheism is tricky because at its core, it is a secular path. I often find myself wanting to advise wayward believers with everything I know before I remember that these are my experiences. They are personal and less likely to be relevant to someone who might ask.
We don’t have a holy book — and a lot of our reading material is scholar-grade stuff, depending on your pantheon-of-interest. The words are ancient, they’re hard to read, they’re in a different language, etc., etc., etc…
Many individuals adore the research that comes with their religion. I adore it because I love to learn but it comes in waves. Sometimes seasonal waves — I’m so busy writing and reading and working and practicing my faith that some of the technicalities aren’t terribly important. Basically what I’m saying is,
Research isn’t everything, and — I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…
Words aren’t everything.
Not in religion.
Open cultures for polytheism are malleable. There are very few “tiers”, unless you’re actively trying to be involved with a community who has a priest/adviser/etc.
Polytheism is about what you do right now, not about what old books or other people say.
Everyday, I see new polytheists fresh out of monotheism and a lot of them are terrified of making a mistake. They don’t know what to, or how to act, or if a replacement for a ritual, or an offering, is acceptable or not.
I want to laugh at them — but not because their concerns and questions are illegitimate! Because they have all of the answers inside them! I know it’s comforting to reach out to others and to ask a well-informed worshiper if Apollon likes dark chocolate or not, but…
You will know.
If you have faith in your heart and you practice it with your hands, with your eyes, with your soul — you will know what the gods favor from what you have to offer.
I wish I could broadcast this catch-all for everyone to hear, but these bullet-points will have to suffice:
- Offerings will be accepted based on your intent
- the only “bad worshipers” are those who use the gods’ names for injustice. you’re not being a lousy worshiper if you haven’t had time to properly pray in a week — a month — a year — or ten —
- If you have to ask, “Does X like Y thing? It always makes me think of them!”, then you have answered your own question
- Gut instinct is real. Discernment is a powerful tool that will hone your intuition!
- Note-taking is vital — don’t rely on your memory!
- & the biggest one…
The gods are not their myths.
It comes up all of the time. “But so-and-so did this in the myths!” and,“I heard that a god is #Problematic because of This-Thing-That-Some-White-Christian-Wrote-About-Gods-That-Weren’t-Even-His.”
…
Yeah, okay. While getting close to the source is important, it’s not that important. It’s not the most important thing, because the most important thing in religion is faith.
I’m not saying don’t ask other polytheists for help, or to demonstrate a relative experience that you can relate with. I’m only asking that before you ask others — ask yourself.
It’s a secular path. It’s your secular path.
Make it yours.
