Two Men Kissed

The world is a rough place to be right now.

Two men kissed. Another man got angry, so he shot up a gay nightclub on Latin night. We need to do something. How can we not do something?

It’s devastating and horrifying and maddening… and yet, I’ve been unsure, tentative about what to do. All I want to do is scream, but I haven’t known where to direct it or how loud to be. I’ve been wary of taking up space that had already been so tragically shaved away by a man who carried hate and an AR-15. I don’t want to take up space for fear that I’m not queer enough, not in pain enough, not ____ enough, and so I leave room…

Two men kissed. Another man got angry, and so he attacked Pulse in Orlando. And as he did, my closest friends danced in clubs just like it around the country. And I slept soundly next to a man with the unconscious almost-guarantee that we’d be able to safely kiss goodbye at brunch the next day. And 49 people died.

It can be hard to wrap our brains around tragedy like this. To know how to fix it, to know how to stop it before it begins. I’ve been retweeting and sharing and listening and understanding. And remembering that this happened because one person took action against others. We can do something. We need to do something…

Two and a half years ago I was in a hotel bar with friends, and two of them kissed. Two men kissed. Another man got angry, so he stormed over and started yelling at them and our whole group of friends. So I did something; I screamed. How could I not? I was witnessing hate and injustice in my corner of the world, and so I did something; it felt so simple. The angry man backed off.

I’ve been unsure, tentative about what to do. When tragedy like this happens, the instinct (or at least mine) can be to simply scream. But, we need to also remember that the screams can mean something. Enough people stand for each other together and make enough noise, and eventually the angry man backs off.

So, make room for the voices that need to be heard. And listen, listen, listen. Read about queer touch in the face of homophobia and Islamophobia. Understand the importance of queer and Latinx safe spaces and what it means to the community. Contextualize this shooting in a history of queer struggle. Learn how to fight for gun control laws so massacres can stop being the norm in this country.

Feel the pain of this tragedy, and never become numb. Let this pain fuel us to take action.

Continue to listen, listen, listen while remembering that does not mean staying silent. It means understanding experiences so we can be vigilant and take care of ourselves while we fight for something better. Do something. Scream.

The owner of Pulse announced that Latin night will resume tonight. Life and love and touch continue on, even in the face of hatred. They have to. It’s how we fight — by making some noise.

This originally appeared in Pop Warrior, Issue No. 3 on June 23, 2016.

Pop Warrior is Sarah Halle Corey’s bi-weekly email newsletter about feminism, feelings, pop culture, and everything in between. Subscribe here!