I’m doing a thing where I’ll do a thing.

(A conversation with no one about something)

The last time I felt this tense, I was staring out of the plane, about to jump.

While I suspect that this doesn’t similarly end with me frantically waking up, drenched in sweat, the feelings leading up to this plunge are consistent with that dream (nightmare).

I’ve accepted that it is natural to feel a bit out of my depth (at first). I am facing a new, frightening, anxiety-inducing experience that constantly leaves me stressing over the wider repercussions of my every move. Logically, this means every decision is triple-checked and every triple-check is double-checked.

It’s all very intense.

And I am loving every minute of it!

No one: …

Me: It is new.

No one: …

Me: Oh, that first one doesn’t count, we collectively agreed to scrub it from our memories. This one, this short film, is the real debut- my writing, co-directing and producing debut.

No one: …

Me: Yeah, I considered acting in it, considered it a lot. But ultimately I decided that I wanted to give the film all the attention I could behind the camera and didn’t want to spread myself too thin. Honestly, after seeing the quality of the actors I’ve been able to assemble, I’m very happy with my decision not to act in it. But next time though, we back in front of the camera.

No one: …

Me: That’s because it’s just you and I talking. I wouldn’t be this open if more people were privy to the conversation.

No one: …

Yo, do you want to hear about the project or not?

…

Then stop asking so many questions lool

So quick backstory, you remember Victoria’s photo exhibition in December? “We Move”? I kinda took the spirit of that exhibition and ran with it. The film is greatly influenced by that photo series.

I’m assuming you know what the phrase means?

It basically translates to…actually wait, I saw a tweet that perfectly explains it to be honest. Let me see if I can find it.

On the train back home, the exhibition continued playing on my mind. I remember being thoroughly worn out and deflated from my errands that day but somehow I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Bear in mind, this was London in the winter, so it was only 7 p.m but looked and felt like 11. All this to say that my mind was in a position where it was very comfortable focusing on the more depressing interpretations of her exhibition.

The phrase, ‘We Move’, essentially serves a dual purpose- it can be a rallying cry in the face of continuous obstacles or can just be a descriptor of a state of mind.

“How’s work”

“Stressful but we move”

That was what kept gnawing at me- ‘We Move’ as simply a state of mind. It represents this innate ability in young people to soldier on despite the barrage of inconveniences they are hit with. It is almost automatic, to the point where we don’t register the frequency or impact of each hurdle, only that we know we have to keep going. Moving on is the only thing that matters, everything else- emotional, mental, physical- is accepted as collateral damage. This presented a very interesting concept to me.

So, I rushed out a two-day draft before meeting with Victoria (remember when you could easily meet up with friends) to get her blessing. I had decided that I won’t go forward with the project if she didn’t like the script or at least the idea behind it. Luckily she did.

5 months, a few more drafts and several e-mails later, here we are, firmly camped in pre-production with a group of talented people I couldn’t have envisioned amassing back in December.

…

Ugh, you’re so dramatic. Yes, you can speak now.

…

Yeah, it’s very exciting. The film is…different. Look, I know everyone thinks their project is special but I really think this one could be something. I think there’s something there that could resonate with a lot of people. Frankly, if this connects with even one person, we would have done our job.

…

Yeah, it’s been wild because our original plan was to rehearse and shoot end of March/beginning of April but of course, that quickly became impossible. I mean, people are dying so ‘good’ is very relative but the good thing about the lockdown is that it has kinda forced us into this longer pre-production period that a film of our scale wouldn’t necessarily be afforded. It’s also encouraged us to do things we wouldn’t normally consider. For example, I don’t have this conversation with you in a normal world, I probably just wait till I’m finished filming and then tell you about it. You know that thing where growing up (in Nigeria) our parents would forbid us from telling people when we had travel plans? Yeah, that’s become my M.O for everything in life.

But the positives aside, it’s been a bit unsettling. We had this very strict and detailed plan and then, all of a sudden, we had to scrap it and like everyone else in the world, learn to accommodate to the new world order.

…

This falls under the whole ‘things we wouldn’t have done in a normal world’ umbrella, but we’ve set up social media presence for the film (Twitter, Instagram). The general hope is that it can generate a bit of publicity for the film but mainly, I just want to highlight and promote the people involved in this project. I’m so impressed by them.

…

Yeah, you don’t understand how talented these guys are, both the actors and the technical crew, it was such a coup getting them all on board.

…

Lool why? Are you offering to pay? Because, yes please.

It’s gonna cost quite a bit. I didn’t know short films could run up such a cheque. Luckily, I already had some confirmed income sources- savings, some early financial backers- but I’ve kinda accepted that for this to be what it needs to be, I’m going to have to raise some outside money.

So I’m going to set up a crowdfunding site for the film and hopefully, I can get some donations to help the process along. We appreciate that it’s a lot to ask of people, especially in present circumstances, but every little thing would go a long way.

…

Speaking of support, I am so thankful for you and everyone else that has been there all this while, in one way or another, be it reading/sharing my articles, giving feedback or even just delivering a needed kick up the ass. Hopefully, soon enough, I can prove that all that support wasn’t misplaced.

But yeah, that’s what I’ve been up to the last few months, and to be honest, it’ll probably keep me busy till December. I can’t complain though, I have the opportunity to do what I love with incredibly talented people who love it just as much as I do, can’t ask for too much more.

…

Oh I didn’t, did I? It’s titled “We Move: The Resilience of Youth”

Bankole Imoukhuede

@banky_I

@WeMove_TROY