Pop Culture Mondays/1.16.23

The “SPECIAL CREAM EDITION”

Welcome to my brain…

Happy Monday, my darling pop culture junkies, and happy MLK DAY. I know many of you aren’t working and are managing kids on a 3-day weekend so if you re reading this, I am so grateful you are able to take ANY time to do so! I am coming to you from London, which is one of my happy places where I pretend that carbs don't count. And I mean for EVERY meal. So I am full of chips and crisps and bread and butter and beer and it is what it is and I can’t really talk about it so let’s talk about what everyone ELSE is talking about. Any guesses??

Yep, it’s Harry. I mean, there are some other things that have happened from Gwen Stefani saying she is Japanese to Miley Cyrus releasing a revenge song OF the ages. And there is a gas oven drama and all things Jennifer Coolidge and we will get to all of it. It’s a quick holiday PCM this week — and if you missed last week’s pod with esteemed repeat guest Britt Morgan Saks, check it out HERE:

‎POP CULTURE MONDAYS...ON THURSDAYS: Episode 37: Let's catch up...it's been a while on Apple…

Grab some headphones and some carbs (so you can join me..) and let’s get to it…

GENIUS

RECORD BREAKER:

Almost 1.5 million copies sold on the FIRST day making “Spare” the fastest-selling non-fiction book, ever. I bet he is re-negotiating the next book’s terms (apparently there is enough he HASN’T said to make a second book) so there’s that. I am guessing a lot of you have read it or are reading it OR like me, are listening to it on Audible. And if you are listening to it on Audible, being read BY Harry, then you are likely as stunned as I am. I mean it’s one thing to write a book and then push across the table to the publisher and close your eyes and just let whatever happen happen. But to sit in a little studio for days, I assume, and read that book and actually say the things you wrote, out loud like you HEAR THEM now and you are reading them…like it is mind-boggling to me. Last week in PCM, I shared a few articles that came out suggesting Harry will regret this book and disclosing private conflicts and stories and perhaps it is better to fight these battles privately.

This photo above is my favorite tbh and is from a local bookshop in England and well…they are NOT wrong. THIS BOOK IS BANANAS.

But we have to talk about THE CREAM.

Now let me preface this by saying I have seen people online wonder what the crisis comms team is doing for Elizabeth Arden is doing at the moment. My response? WHAT CRISIS?? If I were the comms team, I would be literally DELIGHTED.

1. I have never heard of this cream before.
2. I now can think of nothing BUT this cream.
3. This is the cream Diana used on her lips so therefore I shall obviously buy as much as I can.
4. The fact it was also good enough for Harry’s “todger” is another story.

The point is, Elizabeth Arden should lean INTO this. So far their socials have not and REALLY other than this tweet which sort of alludes to it, though it’s a different product:

I am telling you that is a MISSED opportunity. Hey, Elizabeth Arden call me…I mean you can do better.

BUT here is the drama. It is NOT Elizabeth Arden’s drama…it is the connection Harry made to this cream and all I can say is….well, let THIS MAN say it for you:

What up, doc?

Yes well TODGER is a word for penis…and don;t worry he does also say penis. Regarding his frostbitten penis, you can HEAR him talk about it here:

OR read it here:

My penis was oscillating between extremely sensitive and borderline traumatized. I’d been trying some home remedies, including one recommended by a friend. She’d urged me to apply Elizabeth Arden cream.

My mom used that on her lips, you want me to put that on my todger?

I found a tube, and the minute I opened it the smell transported me through time. I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. And I took a smidge, and applied it down there.

YEAH, so that happened. If you see anyone making THIS face this week:

99 percent chance they are reading the book.

IMAGINE being the engineer for Audible when HArry was reading this?

Like, I am sorry, but MEGHAN sweetie…where were you here? Like maybe the editors and assistants and whoever else is on the payroll dared not say anything when reading this before it was published but SURELY Meghan babe…surely you could have said,

“H. MAYBE don’t share this story? OR if you must maybe don't make the connection to your mom?”

OK, now let’s move on to maybe the most politically significant part of the book, which is when he talks about killing 25 Taliban soldiers. While Harry claims much of this was taken out of context prior to the book’s release, it is still pretty crazy what he wrote exactly and NOT taken out of context. I have it as it all is here:

Afghanistan was a war of mistakes, a war of enormous collateral damage — thousands of innocents killed and maimed and that always haunted us. So my goal from the day I arrived was never to go to bed doubting that I’d done the right thing, that my targets had been correct, that I was firing on Taliban and only Taliban, no civilians nearby. I wanted to return to Britain with all my limbs, but more, I wanted to go home with my conscience intact. Which meant being aware of what I was doing, and why I was doing it, at all times.

Most soldiers can’t tell you precisely how much death is on their ledger. In battle conditions, there’s often a great deal of indiscriminate firing. But in the age of Apaches and laptops, everything I did in the course of two combat tours was recorded, time-stamped. I could always say precisely how many enemy combatants I’d killed. And I felt it vital never to shy away from that number. Among the many things I learned in the Army, accountability was near the top of the list.

So, my number: Twenty-five. It wasn’t a number that gave me any satisfaction. But neither was it a number that made me feel ashamed. Naturally, I’d have preferred not to have that number on my military CV, on my mind, but by the same token I’d have preferred to live in a world in which there was no Taliban, a world without war. Even for an occasional practitioner of magical thinking like me, however, some realities just can’t be changed.

While in the heat and fog of combat, I didn’t think of those twenty-five as people. You can’t kill people if you think of them as people. You can’t really harm people if you think of them as people. They were chess pieces removed from the board, Bads taken away before they could kill Goods. I’d been trained to ‘other-ize’ them, trained well. On some level I recognise this learned detachment as problematic. But I also saw it as an unavoidable part of soldiering. Another reality that couldn’t be changed.

Needless to say, out of context or in context, this is not going over well with…the TALIBAN.

The publisher sure knew what they were doing, though. I can only imagine the numbers are going to be even crazier over the next few weeks. Let’s end this with some of my fave takes by creators:

SO HERE WE ARE. I am done now.

AND SOME OF OUR FAVORITE (OR MOST DESPICABLE) THINGS:

Let’s just get to some other things that happened this week you might be curious about or might regret knowing…you decide.

• THESE brothers are my current obsession. Their parents have a band, but clearly, apple tree and all of that. HOW CUTE IS THIS I CANNOT. Get them a manager asap:

• Miley Cyrus’ new single, “Flowers” dropped this weekend and it’s taken socials by storm. Fans believe it is a revenge song targeting her ex-husband, actor Liam Hemsworth. Here is the evidence:

1. It is released on his bday
2. It talks about love and their house burning down which it did.
3. Apparently, he had dedicated the Bruno Mars song to her at their wedding — you know the one about flowers and so forth and this song is word for word response to this.

4. AND rumors are swirling that he cheated on her during their marriage with a lot of women and perhaps in the house she filmed the video in…at least that's the GOSS.

5. Apparently she is wearing HIS suit that he wore to a premiere where he told her to “behave”….I die.

Here is the video:

• Oh BUT also…let us also bow to the queen SHAKIRA, who has ALSO released a revenge song about her ex-husband who is some football/soccer player who was cheating on her and IT IS GOING OFF. And it is a HUGE sensation. I mean like hundreds of millions of views in a few days. And unlike Miley who is a BIT subtle…this is putting it ALL out there. AND HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE POP STARS who get scorned and honestly…I am all for it. You have the platform? USE IT. These boys are trash.

I mean the lyrics are….chef’s kiss:

Sorry, baby, I should have thrown you out a while ago

I was out of your league and that’s why you’re with someone just like you

You left me with my mother-in-law as a neighbor, with the press at my door, and in debt with the government

You thought you hurt me, but you made me stronger

Women don’t cry anymore, they cash in

You traded a Ferrari for a Twingo

You traded a Rolex for a Casio

Lots of time at the gym, but your brain needs a little work too

I LOVE IT SO MUCH. And The Cut breaks it all down perfectly:

Shakira's Breakup Song Goes Incredibly Hard

• On the HUH side of female pop singers however, we have Gwen Stefani who told an Asian American reporter at Allure Magazine when talking about her early aughts Japanese-inspired era: “My God, I’m Japanese and I didn’t know it.” I mean, you have to read the whole article it just is SO cringe and showcases the IMPORTANCE of messaging and the destruction if you don;t have the right kind:

Gwen Stefani: "I Said, 'My God, I'm Japanese'"

This sums it up:

• Silicon Valley — you are “adorable”. THIS is the next gen apparently…not a woman or a Black person in sight…🤨

• WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WITH GAS STOVES?? AND SLEEVES IN MISSOURI???

SO if you haven’t heard of these specific dramas…consider yourself BLESSED and also WELCOME TO ‘MERICA. IN 2023…in the US, a member of the Consumer Product Safety Commission, Richard Trumka, Jr., SEEMED to suggest in an interview that regulations on gas stoves were being considered.

“Any option is on the table. Products that can’t be made safe can be banned,” Trumka told Bloomberg.

Listen. YOU COME FOR MY WOLF STOVE I WILL COME FOR YOU. But that’s NOT all my little ones. Here we are in 2023, in Missouri which basically lets you walk around with all the guns that you want BUT god forbid a woman in the House of Representatives wears a blouse? NOPE. This is what the lawmakers are wasting their time debating…and of course this was introduced by MISSOURI KAREN as I like to say. It is MESSY.

Now back to the stove. This dumb quote the dumb guy said about stoves has set off the conservatives in a way you can expect. I mean I am liberal and I will literally tie myself to my gas stove if you try to come for it but I also know that is not going to happen. The right wing…apparently you come for their guns OR their stoves and HELL HATH NO FURY…

I mean DESANTIS, the Governor of Florida IS A SPECIAL sort of guy.

It is ridiculous. TRULY.

• NOW let’s talk a little content and then I have to go find more carbs to eat.

IF you want to know the man I would give up caqrbs for or anything for that matter, it is Pedro Pascal. I mean he is BABY YODA’S father basically am I right? So I obviously just for THAT am excited for “The LAst of US” on HBO Max. Yes it ios based on a video game but COME ON…it looks amazing. THE SOUNDTRACK omg. The first epi is out and I am watching that sucker on the plane home tomorrow:

And people are….excited:

MOVING ON TO THIS ONE — M3GAN

Now, the billboards for this were all around my neighborhood on Sunset Blvd and I had no desire to see it. Until I started seeing people talk about it online and then I became obsessed. An orphan becomes friends with an AI android doll who inevitably kills for her? HOW DO I GET ONE? Also the name Megan seems really trolling here but maybe I am just LOOKING for the drama. AT any rate, I LOVE THIS TRAILER. AKA BRITT MORGAN SAKS, I would be your M3GAN just an FYI. 😘

AND let’s talk about Tár starring Cate Blanchett. Many people tell me this is the most incredible movie ever. And then there are some who hated it. But let’s be clear, it has people talking. Cate Blanchett apparently learned German for this movie…and speaks it throughout. It is like the reverse Me Too or at least how it has been described to me:

SO lmk whether you LOVE it or HATE IT.

AND we have heard about Brendan Fraser’s triumphant return in the lead role of The Whale. Here is the trailer:

This will be very hard for me to watch…I will when I am alone and able to sob loudly and press pause but I will, I will.

And Brendan’s acceptance speech at the Critic’s Choice Awards this weekend was a beauty…he was SO SO famous at one point and then was nowhere and we now know due to his own sexual assault issues with powerful men in Hollywood trying to hurt him so it is all very meaningful.

AND lastly on the film front…there is a movie literally a few people have heard of or seen that is all of a sudden CAUSE DU JOUR by some celebs and it’s a curious thing. It started popping up on my socials…Gwyneth says THIS and Jennifer Anniston says that and I am like WHAT is this movie and so I dug into it and learned this seems to be a question on a lot of people’s minds including Matthew Belloni of Puck who wrote in his newsletter:

Are you following this bizarre Andrea Riseborough campaign? The English actress and her performance as a troubled alcoholic in Michael Morris’s drama To Leslie — a movie that several awards-season professionals tell me they haven’t seen and know nobody who has — have suddenly become the cause célèbre among a ton of other stars. Everyone from Jane Fonda to Kate Winslet to Jennifer Aniston to Sarah Paulsonto Susan Sarandon to Rosie O’Donnell and literally dozens more have posted or given interviews about the performance. Charlize Theron, Ed Norton, Courteney Cox and Gwyneth Paltrow have hosted screenings. Amy Adams is doing one on Tuesday. Blanchett even shouted out Riseborough in her Critics Choice acceptance speech tonight. This movie grossed $27,322 worldwide, per Boxofficemojo, but in certain parts of Brentwood and the Palisades, you’d think it was Avatar 2.

Sign up for his amazing newsletter here:

Matthew Belloni

And IF interested (I AM!), here is the trailer for this film, TO LESLIE:

• AND LET US END with our icon, our hero, Jennifer Coolidge and her Golden Globes Acceptance speech which was OBVIOUSLY iconic:

And let’s give it up to Mike White who is a gift to us all and White Lotus is my entire personality now.

THAT IS IT, my darlings…

I hope you have a beautiful week.

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Xx,

Brooke