Pop Culture Mondays/1.24.22
The “WHO’S BEEN CANCELED THIS WEEK?” Edition
HAPPY Monday my darling pop culture junkies! I am no longer, sadly, in Jamaica, so we are back to our regularly scheduled programming. I am sure many of you are recovering from what I gather was a FOOTBALL WEEKEND for the ages and for those of you with winning teams, congrats. I also think there is likely a FAIR SHARE of you who were like, “football?” and are either unaware or uncaring that this was some crazy football viewing. But everyone, regardless of where they stand on football, seems pleased with Aaron Rodgers getting beat so I guess that was one thing a lot of people could agree on. BUT THIS IS NOT A FOOTBALL NEWSLETTER so that was my one nod to all the crazy social media around football. I get it…it IS actually pop culture but you don't want me writing about football, I assure you.
AND don’t worry, Baby Yoda is NOT getting canceled. Not on my watch. For those new subscribers (hi hi hi), Baby Yoda is the INSPO for PCM (shorthand for Pop Culture Mondays). If NOT FOR THE CHILD, then there would be no newsletter. But each week I scour the Internets to find a pic of him that fits into the context of the week I am writing about. And yes, I perhaps could use this specific image each week at the rate we are going, but this past week was SLIGHTLY different in the land of cancel culture so let’s dig in.
Grab your headphones and don’t worry…we are TRUMP (and Trump-adjacent) FREE.
XO….
WEST ELM CALEB, EXPLAINED:
GUYS. I have never ever claimed this was HIGH BROW. So let’s just start there. Also, I watch SO many TikToks that by now I can tell when something is going to blow up before it actually does. My brain has been re-wired…good for you, bad for me but it is what it is. The minute I saw the 2nd video on this subject I started furiously taking notes before it became a thing. AND THEN IT WAS A THING. And a couple of us right at the beginning of this thing predicted exactly what was going to happen as I am sure some of you did. The mob grows and grows and attacks, then the reality of the attack being worse than the crime starts to emerge, and then defenders of the guy they were attacking come out strong, and then the attackers themselves (some of them) start to show regret. CONFUSED? OK let’s get into it.
SO by now, MOST of you have heard something about West Elm Caleb. Maybe you know TOO much already (doubtful because there’s never enough tbh) or maybe you are trying to figure out wtf is going on so I got you. As all stories seemingly start now, it started on TikTok. A creator posted a TikTok about dating in NY and being ghosted by a guy named Caleb:
Honestly, no one has explained it better than THIS Buzzfeed article so I urge you to check it out:
But basically, all these other girls came out about their own experiences being ghosted by the person they now dubbed WEST ELM CALEB because on his Hinge profile his job is listed as a designer at West Elm. Apparently, Caleb was just a classic serial dater where he chatted with a ton of girls, made them feel like they were the only girl in the world and he made them Spotify playlists he said were for them (it was the same playlist that led to another wild TikTok mob to try to track down said playlist WHICH IS HERE and it’s pretty good):
OK I digress.
Sometimes these texts led to real-world dates, real-world sex, and ultimately real-world ghosting. Most of the women talked about being “Love Bombed” which led to many people I know to ask “WTF DOES THAT MEAN?” SO before we go further, here is the definition of LOVE BOMBING:
From Wikipedia
Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by demonstrations of attention and affection. It can be used in different ways and for either positive or negative purposes. Psychologists have identified love bombing as a possible part of a cycle of abuse and have warned against it. It has also been described as psychological manipulation in order to create a feeling of unity within a group against a society perceived as hostile. In 2011, clinical psychologist Oliver James advocated love bombing in his book Love Bombing: Reset Your Child’s Emotional Thermostat, as a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.
Look, I have been love-bombed. It IS intense and it makes you feel euphoric to some extent. Time stands still and you become intoxicated by it and it is a form of control whether the person doing it intends that or not. It’s a thing that brought the collective mob together. WEST ELM CALEB became enemy number ONE. Woman after woman began posting their OWN experiences with West Elm Caleb and documenting his lies, his texts, his ghosting. AND THE MOB went nuts. Not only were women who had seemingly dated him posting stories but then other creators — maybe some clout chasers — started to get into it and dissect it. People began investigating him. I mean this guy was DOXXED. His photos, his personal info, it went EVERYWHERE. Brands started getting in on it thinking it was funny (it wasn’t), major media outlets began writing about it, morning shows were talking about it. All seemingly unaware they were attacking a guy for….dating.
BUT….many of us knew this was going to shift. Some voices of reason started to emerge like the New York Times’ Taylor Lorenz who herself has been DOXXED:
Taylor brought up a good point. YEARS AND YEARS ago, before TikTok, we had Justine Sacco who shortly before her flight to South Africa (where she grew up) she tweeted what she thought would be seen as a sarcastic take and instead stopped the world in its tracks and Twitter and media blew up.
The world was in a formal countdown waiting for Justine’s flight to land when she would then get her internet connection back and find out what had happened. People were gleeful. “LET’S TAKE THIS BITCH DOWN.” I was part of it. I remember exactly where I was when I started following the story and I dissected her tweets and called her out as well.
But then, as I saw the mounting attacks, I began to empathize with this young woman and what she was about to face upon landing. An angry mob. A lost job. The mental health toll would be extensive. And I expressed that on Twitter. I went through the same cycle that many of these TikTokkers NOW find themselves in. West Elm Caleb’s life was unraveling before our eyes, and some of the people who had helped that along now began to have regrets. Including one of the women who early on called him out (and she admits she was hurt but this was now out of control).
Caleb himself, who has remained silent publicly, was reaching out to some of the women apologizing and explaining he was going through a tough time. Some decided to step their stuff back:
Look, I THINK Caleb will be just fine. Many assume he will make an appearance on JOE ROGAN or some such thing and be celebrated and maybe launch something as a result. But for a minute, he was the villain of the world and it was wild to watch.
THERE are so many articles on this…so here are a few I selected in case you NEED more!
And lastly on this…this was maybe my fave tweet about it because it sums it up and history buffs like me immediately understood:
OK. but WAIT….we are still under this being canceled theme…here is another person who was caught on video and called out on TikTok and within hours the community identified him and he was IN MY OPINION, rightfully fired for his behavior. There is more context to it from when I originally tweeted it yesterday (before the story blew up) and that is this man got a smoothie for his son who apparently had a peanut allergy. He did not disclose the allergy but asked for NO PEANUT butter in the smoothie. Either they added peanut butter or there was cross-contamination…unclear, but his son had a scary reaction that required EMS to take him to the hospital. The father was understandably upset and worried. But here’s where he goes dark. He goes back to the smoothie place and attacks the high school girls working there. He threatens them. He makes racist remarks. Hateful remarks. He throws a smoothie at them. It’s unsettling to watch. And what it did though was take the attention OFF of West Elm Caleb as TikTok found its newest villain:
Again, the Internet exploded. Tabloid media, mainstream, media, TikTokkers…all went nuts. ANYWAY, the man had been canceled as they say…he was arrested and was fired from his job.
WHO WILL BE THE VILLAIN THIS WEEK?
AND JUST A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS (AND SOME DESPICABLE ONES TOO…)
Look, sometimes I have to just write at length about one topic vs looking at 2–3 different moments in an in-depth way. And West Elm Caleb has taken its toll on me. I need to power thru the rest of this so let’s just stick to some highlights from the pop culture zeitgeist this week.
- I don’t always cover deaths here because …well just because…but sometimes deaths take over the socials and there were several this past week that did. From Meatloaf to Thich Nhat Hanh to André Leon Talley. BUT for our purposes, it was André’s passing that we are discussing because after he passed and everyone from Kim Kardashian to Michelle Obama was tweeting and posting to Instagram:
Vogue did nothing. For an entire day:
Socials went on a VOGUE watch and then FINALLY, Anna Wintour who had a famous falling out with André, wrote something which then Vogue posted. I am SURE Vogue was waiting for her to write something but what they should have done was stop all social media posts totally tbh until it was written.
But what she did end up writing is here:
- GUYS. IS ADELE OK? What is the real story here? Some people I know who know this business far better than I do, believe that more happened behind the scenes to lead to Adele canceling (A TREND SEE?) her Las Vegas residency less than 24 hours before it kicked off. I mean that’s a big deal and while I am told this happens a lot (seemingly with Adele but lots of artists for a variety of reasons) the excuse being given is due to COVID and staff shortages. Adele posted this:
And people went nuts. There is talk that they are not being rescheduled for months and there were many many people who had already arrived in Vegas ready for the show. And again, TIKTOK gave us some insight into them:
Now some of you MIGHT know my actual day job is in communications where we help founders and brands tell their stories so I am particularly sensitive to how people manage crises. And Adele and her team did a brilliant thing and find their fans via TikTok and other social channels, who were in Vegas to see her. And she contacted them. Then invited them to an event at the store that was opened for the residency (I mean yes so still an opportunity to spend!) but they were brought there and got to speak to Adele on Facetime. Our girl who had t-shirts made for Adele? Here she is…
A great example of making as much lemonade you can out of lemons…
- Sexy ladies known as the GREEN and the BROWN M&Ms, we hardly knew you. Though I have never related more to anything as I sold all my stilettos on the RealReal because for REAL, I am never doing them again. But here’s the scenario:
Obviously more than the shoes have changed. The color of their skin most importantly has changed but as the great George Hahn would say, “FER ME….” I am really only upset about Green’s eyelashes. I love eyelashes and don't think they should be canceled! Cancel high heels (I have sprained so many ankles) but not my beloved EYELASHES. ANYWAY, I will not offend you with video of Tucker Carlson but that DICKBAG went on a rant about how he no longer is attracted to them. YOU’RE WELCOME.
- Did you miss this amazing profile of Kathy Griffin by the ONE AND ONLY KATIE ROSMAN of the New York Times? YOU MUST READ IT. Not only does Kathy Griffin have dogs named after “Law & Order: SVU” main characters, Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler (I met them a couple of years ago backstage at SXSW and they are adorable) but she also has a SELF PORTRAIT painted by convicted murderer, Erik Menendez. Anyway, speaking of being canceled, Kathy goes on to point out she was “not canceled, she was erased.” It is a must-read profile…too bad it doesn't highlight the hypocrisy of the men who turned their back on her….Hello, Anderson Cooper who helped get the restaurant The Spotted Pig canceled in a 60 Minutes interview without ever disclosing how much partying HE himself did there…but I digress. (I bring this up a LOT.) Anyway, READ THIS PROFILE:
- NYC might actually start going back to the NYC I know and love. As some of you read back in October, I wrote about how NYC had become an extension of a college campus whether it was Michigan or BU or Syracuse. These 22-year-olds who normally have to live in NY for a bit before they get to neighborhoods like the West Village, had gotten in because of COVID rents and landlords slashing the rents by more than 50 percent. But those days are OVER and kids are getting a harsh dose of reality and a new trend on TikTok has emerged as reality sets it…
- Twitter. It was a lot of Twitter this week. They announced Twitter Blue which is a paid service that gives you certain perks like being able to edit a tweet (sort of, like you get to review before it posts) and IF you have a verified NFT you can use it in a profile pic that becomes a HEXAGON shape, vs the standard circle. The internets had fun making fun of Twitter for this…for example, calling out the fact that an octagon would have been a better shape. BUT, the more interesting thing they did in my opinion was the launch of their new ad campaign, #TWEETITINTOEXISTENCE which shows well-known people and their tweets that ended up becoming true. Like the actor Simu Liu who tweeted at Marvel years ago about being cast in “Shang-Chi” which he ultimately was cast as the star in. It has launched a great trend…or put more oxygen into an already great trend I should say:
- And I really don’t want to talk about Kanye or his new GF, the actress Julia Fox, but their recent publicity tour has been called out a lot because of the um….FASHUN. This was sent to me this morning and I mean, we don't need anything more really:
FOR REFERENCE:
- And APPLETOK took me for a ride this week:
- And last but not least, I wrote about the TikTok trend last week that has you moving your head to the camera to this sound called EDGE. And this creator got fed up with everyone trying and failing she made a tutorial so here you go, practice practice practice:
THAT IS IT my darlings.
I know there was a LOT I didn’t get into here but the WEST ELM CALEB drama really drained me! I will do better next week. 😍
Stay safe and healthy my beauties. Stay kind. Stay funny AF.
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