Pop Culture Mondays/3.6.23
The “WTF IS VANDERPUMP RULES?” Edition
Happy Monday, my darling pop culture junkies. Well, DAMN….it has been a WEEK. There is a LOT to get to and let me assure you that most of it are stuff you wish to GOD I had not put on your radar. You will wish that you could live in complete and utter blissful ignorance, BUT alas, I am here to destroy that for you. You’re welcome. But where to EVEN start?
I have had the most LA of LA weeks this week. I found myself on the same sofa a celeb had been sitting on in a greenroom at a conference an hour earlier prior to their appearance on stage. I found some papers just sitting on the couch that had the name of a celeb and, “TALKING POINTS” and sure enough they were notes that their team had made for them with talking points for the conference where they were speaking. I will not disclose WHO it was or what was in them and in fact I not only did NOT read through them past the first page, but I did not take them and instead disposed of them them. I am NOT TMZ and that shit is not my style, but I do come from a communications background and MANY of you reading this have big jobs and you give talks or meet with media regularly…
…DO NOT leave those background materials behind. And PR people!!! Do NOT put names in them. Like, it is not hard. Do not write talking points for A WELL-KNOWN PERSON and have the WELL-KNOWN PERSON’s NAME on them like come on…COME ON people. ROOKIE move kids.
Another big LA moment for me was I got to go to the INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS thanks to the awesome Eugene Hernandez of Sundance who I met in JAMAICA (through the most incredible Sasha Korbut) and the amazing people at Lincoln Center who had me as their guest and it was just about the coolest thing I have done yet in LA. I also would like to apologize to Bridget Everett who I hugged and proceeded to sing HER song about boobies TO her and then hugged her to my bosom and frankly, she could have had me arrested, but she told me she loved me….and THAT my friends was MAYBE the best moment in my life. If you do not know her “TITTIES SONG” then you are a new subscriber as I have showcased it here before, but here you go and PLEASE WATCH IT because it is everything:
I immediately texted my friends Candi Feit and Lydia Polgreen who took me to my first Bridget show and I relayed the story and I cried, they cried, we all cried.
And the Spirit Awards were AMAZING and it was wild to be in the same room with the amazing stars like Cate Blanchett, Michelle Yeoh, Aubrey Plaza and all the new and emerging talent. ALSO, IT WAS SPONSORED BY MIRAVAL Rosé so I had wine in my hands by 11:30AM which I really appreciated. 🥰
BUT OK….let’s get INTO it. If you missed my podcast last week, give it a listen. She cute.
WTF IS HAPPENING???
I imagine some of you reading this are WELL aware of every single person in the above photo. You may know their dating histories, their dramas, their friend break ups and make-ups. BUT I also imagine there are a great many of you who are like, “I have no idea who these people are and I don’t care at all.” And that’s totally fair. But let me explain what this show is and THEN I will explain why this is the deep dive story of the week.
Let’s go back to the OG Bravo/Andy Cohen franchise REAL HOUSEWIVES. The first ever REAL HOUSEWIVES was the Real Housewives of Orange County and which debuted on March 21st, 2006. 2006!!!! We were babies. Innocent little babies. We were first introduced to the ladies of Coto de Caza community where we got into the groove of the show’s premise. Get a group of women (some were married, some were career women so NOT always housewives) who live in big houses and they wear crazy clothes with big heels and they get into drama over nothing or have overbearing husbands and everything in between. It is not scripted but it is guided for sure like you can almost HEAR the producers whispering into their ears to do something. You know…like THIS GUY:
SLUGWORTH.
Now that guy would have made a KILLING as a Bravo producer. An absolute killing.
So we were obsessed with these ladies from the start:
OK…most of you probably not but for those of us addicted to all things Andy Cohen, this was like “elevated” reality TV we could get lost in each week after crazy busy days. And the franchise grew from there. We have the Real Housewives of NYC and the Real Housewives of New Jersey and the Real Housewives of Atlanta and the Real Housewives of Potomac and of course….the REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS (and many more btw!!) And this one was a game changer. Because the women were ACTUALLY rich and in some cases, already quite famous. Like why would rich and famous people want to push this onto themselves and their families? They had plenty of knowledge prior to THIS franchise kicking off to see what happened with others:
- Marriages imploded
- Friendships ended
- Suicide
- Abusive behavior was exposed
- Kids with drug issues were exposed
- Criminal activity was exposed
But no…the power of fame (or more fame for some) is dizzying, and I am sure many of them thought it wouldn't happen to THEM, and frankly, they had brands and children’s careers to launch — but alas, it did happen to them over and over and over again. With the cameras rolling through all of it from cheating scandals to heartbreak to loss to crazy fights. And we wanted more and more.
Now, one of the OGs of the Beverly Hills franchise was LISA VANDERPUMP. A woman who seems as unreal as her name. She was gorgeous and always done up to the nines. She had a posh English accent and a husband who carried around their little teeny dogs in sweaters. They had a mansion and Rolls Royces they would drive all over town or be driven in. They had staff and they had mini horses and they owned restaurants and bars. Now that I live in WeHo, I see the husband almost weekly cruising the Boys Town Pavillions grocery store but whatever…that’s neither here nor there. I will say everyone I know who does know them and has worked with them in some capacity has NOTHING NICE TO SAY at all. Which is not shocking.
But I digress.
They were a spectacle spectacular with restaurants called Villa Blanca (now closed), Pump (a play on their last name but also in the HEART OF BOYS TOWN in WeHo, so a few meanings there…), and of course, SUR (this one stands for SEXY UNIQUE RESTAURANT and I kid you not.) Still following?
I shall not bore you will all the Lisa Vanderpump drama on the REAL HOUSEWIVES show but her businesses were front and center during her time there. And she is smart. Kris Jenner smart in how to monetize the moment. So why not do a spin-off show following the lives and dramas of her HOT YOUNG STAFF and one of her restaurants, SUR? Think of the opportunity. Get a cut of the show and promote the FUCK out of your restaurant that will become a must-go-to destination for the millions of Bravo fans.
Lisa Vanderpump, is what we call a BRAVO-lebrity, struck gold.
“VANDERPUMP RULES” was born.
The first trailer is here:
Much of the cast is still involved with the show as either main characters or occasionally drop in. And as always, these kids want to be famous and have become famous but they are still working in bars and restaurants. AND WE HAVE ANOTHER STORY OPPORTUNITY. Two of the main characters are Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval who were bartenders at Sur and both in serious and seemingly stable relationships with two cast members at the time, go into business with Lisa and Ken to open a bar in WeHo called…TOM TOM. The Toms are junior partners, Lisa and Ken are no dummies. But a show within a show within a show is born.
OMG, I am still writing about this. But this brings us to TODAY and why I am telling you this and why you might be hearing from your kids or staff or seeing things mentioned online about VANDERPUMP RULES or VPR as the kids call it. SO, Tom Schwartz had been married to Katie but their marriage ended in what we were made to believe was a conscious uncoupling. All done on camera and everyone was supportive. Tom and Tom opening a new place at this time called SCHWARTZ & SANDYS. Everyone gearing up for this hot opening. Meanwhile, Sandoval who we were FIRST introduced to on.…are you ready?? ON, THE HILLS, which is MY generation’s lifeblood…where he was a shirtless model our girl Lauren Conrad was interviewing.
I digress. Sandoval now sees himself as a bit of a STUD as he is a star in his own right and he now has grown himself a hipster mustache and fancies himself a lead singer of a rock band that does covers, Tom Sandoval & the Most Extras.
Even the band’s name is cringe.
But while other Tom and Katie are breaking up, Sandoval and his longtime partner, Ariana, also a star of the show, seemingly stay a unit.
We watched their relationship start NINE years ago, and they seem to bring an adult lens to a crazy world of man babies and women refusing to grow up. Another cast member was introduced as a girlfriend of a regular cast member a few years ago. Her name is Raquel, or as we now know, is really Rachel, but she changed her name for TV to be more exotic.
OK. Raquel and her BF broke up, but as these things tend to go, reality stars are starving for the next storyline to keep them relevant and on the show. So it seems she then set her eyes on the other Tom, who was just getting divorced from Raquel’s friend, Katie. Raquel tells Katie they made out — again, all on camera. SO this was the scandal of the season. OR SO WE THOUGHT.
Enter the other Tom, Ariana’s Tom…SANDOVAL. Who is shown here in a pic with the now-confirmed other woman:
In what can only be described as A PERFECT DREAM FOR ANDY COHEN, with the help of tipsters to the gossip site Deux Moi, it was revealed that Ariana found out last week that HER Tom and Raquel were not only having an affair but had been for SOME TIME like 6 moths and also rumors are that they want to be together.
ALL HELL BROKE LOSE. The Internets lost their minds and revenge was exacted by the VPR fans who flooded the review sites for Tom’s bars/restaurants with terrible reviews.
And let me be clear, this is TV gold. The story is that production which was wrapping, has been extended, so this all unfolds for the TV viewers because we love scandals, am I right? Before we get on to what Tom Sandoval has come out with on the statement front, let me show you him singing this weekend with his band amidst the drama. I wish I could show you all the covers but they would make you cry…cry out in pain..
When I say the kids are CONSUMED with this drama, that is an understatement. So much hate was directed at Tom Sandoval and his restaurants that he had to issue a statement:
And here is the GENIUS Andy Cohen, who is just waking up from a nap (he's just like us!) and casually just branding this scandal as #SCANDOVAL (get it? Tom SANDOVAL…?), and that is why we are not worthy of you Andy Cohen:
I mean, his radio show will be covering this nonstop. He has Lisa Vanderpump herself as his guest on WWHL this week. THE VIEWS! The CLICKS! The INSANITY!!! But what brings our society together more than a REALITY SHOW SCANDOVAL THAT CROSSES THE DIVIDE? There are so many other storylines around this and reactions across the socials.
And thank you for sticking with me here. I need a drink and a nap. BUT let me end this post with my fave TikTok tying things together:
A LITTLE THIS, A LITTLE THAT:
Let’s look at some highlights (and lowlights) of some OTHER pop culture-y things that have gone down this week. I cannot cover everything because there is a LOT — there is ALWAYS a lot, but here are some of my chosen ones.
- Chris Rock Live on Netflix. Now, some of you may have thought this would be a lead story but no. I prefer giving attention to my brain to reality show stars embroiled in the scandal than I do to a misogynist stand-up comic who used to be really funny but now is angry and resentful mainly towards women. His ex-wife, trans women, Meghan Markle, older women, younger women, Jada Pinket Smith….you get the idea. I am not a reviewer, so no one should care about my thoughts…it is all subjective, anyway. I am a fan of Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Rickey Gervais, and yes, I am a fan of Dave Chapelle. I don’t agree with some of their views, but the way they presented them was always intelligent and thought-provoking and pushed barriers, and made us all think. I just didn’t think Chris Rock’s show was funny or clever, for that matter. It was a lot of angry cursing and N words all over the place. Not to mention, it was LIVE a new stunt of Netflix, but we had seen many of these jokes already play out before, thanks to socials as Rock had been workshopping them the past year. And yes, we were all there really to see what he would finally say about Will Smith. And he eviscerated him….but again, by ultimately blaming and shaming his WIFE. We have also all heard the SHARK TALE joke when Chris was trying to showcase the difference between his and Will’s statures…but he says Will played a shark in the movie and he did not…he played an itty bitty fish.
THIS was Deniro.
And THIS was Smith…
NOT A SHARK. A good joke BUT an untrue one, and one he knows is untrue as he has done it over and over, and people have called it out. ANYWAY, you might have different opinions…I just thought it was lazy and cliche, and he seems angry and resentful about being rich and about women mainly. So yeah, I want my time back, thanks.
And look, he makes some valid points throughout the show. Real victims suffer at the hands of fake victims. Selective outrage is a thing. Lulu Lemon IS too expensive. And Meghan Markle should have (likely did) Googled the Royal Family. BUT…and a big but…Chris plays the victim throughout his whole show. No, he doesn't need Oprah or Gayle because he has his own platform to vent his anger to an audience. And he knew exactly what he was doing holding onto his Oscar slap reaction…he monetized the shit out of it and for that, I have the utmost respect. THAT should have been the theme. I respect that.
Moving on….
- If you have a kid asking you to buy FRUIT ROLL-UPS all of a sudden…here is why. And I am here for it and in fact have a box coming this week which is because I HAVE BEEN INFLUENCED. This viral food hack is all over the place now:
YES apparently, if you add ICE CREAM to an unfolded roll-up and then wrap it up, it freezes the roll-up immediately, and it makes it a crunchy treat!
You’re welcome.
- Enter Gracie Abrams, everyone. I LOVE new music. I love singer/songwriters. I love pop and rock and rap and hip hop and while I don’t like country, I appreciate it. I love new music and try to keep up with what the kids are listening to. And I have LOVED this singer Gracie Abrams ever since I first heard her a few months ago (I was late to the game tbh). And her new single is one I have had one repeat for 24/7 the past week like I listen to it as I am walking the dog, writing this newsletter, in the shower. It is my soundtrack at the moment. SO like I cannot explain how shocked I was when I realized I knew her parents, Katie Mcgrath and JJ Abrams, and then realized I shouldn't be shocked because her parents are both wonderful and kind and actual geniuses and well…take a listen.
I have gone deep on her videos and the comments, and SO many of the comments are from fans saying how PROUD they are of her, which I really find beautiful and lovely and not what we are accustomed to seeing on the Internet. Anyway, welcome to your favorite new singer/songwriter.
MOVING ON…And we are NOT done with COCAINE BEAR..
I have NOT seen it yet, but I really hope to see it in the theatre just to say, “YEP, I did that.” But one of the most fascinating conversations I saw at the UPFRONT SUMMIT last week in LA put on by Upfront Ventures was one with Kara Swisher and Jamie Lee Curtis, and Donna Langley, the Chairman of Universal Filmed Entertainment Group. I mean Jamie Lee Curtis is the BOSS and so brilliant, and clearly, if she had not become an actress, she would have been an entrepreneur or the BEST CMO of all time. And inevitably, the conversation got to “Cocaine Bear” and how this movie came to exist, which Donna said rather honestly,
“…it was green lit in a bit of a fever dream…”
..as it was in heart of COVID. Also, IF the movie could NOT HAVE BEEN MARKETED with the name COCAINE in it, they likely would not have made it. How wild is that? These don’t have the same ring to it:
Love these so much.
- I really try to imagine how much money I have spent on shoes…it kills me. Like I wore a pair of rubber flip-flops the entire time I was in Jamaica, and they cost me $12. WHY DO I SPEND SO MUCH ON SHOES OMG. And this genius story by Katie Rosman of the NYT made me think even more….I cannot count how many people shared this with me:
- This ER doctor has gone mega viral on TikTok thanks to this video. AND IT IS CRAZY. As someone totally new to this GRILL world, I was SHOOK and I have the very brush she is talking about and well…just check it out. Also, BYE brush…I will be tossing you.
THAT IS IT, my darlings…
Nope, I did not get into the Murdaugh stuff because we all have seen everything there is to see on that whole thing. The trial. The documentaries. The TikToks. I am done with the Murdaugh murder dynasty true crime tragic story for a good long while. Have a beautiful week, everyone.
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Xx,
Brooke
