Pop Culture Mondays/4.13.20

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Welcome to my brain…

Well it’s MONDAY, my darling pop culture junkies. I can in fact confirm. NO idea wtf that means anymore but we are seeing this THRU. I guess the good news is there’s no more Sunday Scaries as EVERY DAY IS THE SAME! But we have had a hell of a week and woke up today all on high alert 🚨 because WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO FAUCI? The general consensus is that he’s going to be next on this Administration’s chopping block but as this is a TRUMP-FREE zone (reminder to new subscribers!), so I am going to let everyone else freak out about it and I am going to instead bake buttercream Magnolia Bakery cupcakes (I URGE you to click this recipe and YOU ARE WELCOME) later because the good news is CALORIES DO NOT COUNT IN QUARANTINE. That’s my mandate anyway and I am here for it. So wherever you are — whether you’re one of my friends wearing sundresses in apparently 80 degree weather in London yesterday, or you’re my surfing friends in California who WILL NOT BE stopped, or you’re my friends cooped up in a small NYC apartment clapping on pots and pans at 7PM each night…sit back, grab some gummy bears and cupcakes, and enjoy…

BETTER THAN UFC CHAMPIONSHIPS

NEW YORK CIVIL WAR:

Woo boy, not since I was 14 years old when I came to school to find my two best friends weren’t talking to me because some other friend said I had said something I actually HAD NOT said but no one believed me and by the end of the day no one was talking to me and I told my mom my life was over and I had to move to another state like THAT day, HAS THERE BEEN MORE DRAMA. And I make this 14 year old ME reference because, these boys are like 2 teenage girls having a total freaking meltdown on each other.

So there has been no love lost with these two for a while. In ONE corner, we have the bumbling makes every mistake known to man, Mayor of NYC, Bill de Blasio. In the other corner, America’s new pin-up, the emotional and direct NUMBER ONE BACHELOR, Governor of NY, Andrew Cuomo. Both are Democrats, both have dedicated their lives to civil service and both clearly do love NY (though in one of the million gaffes de Blasio has made, saying he was a Red Sox fan was maybe the most offensive). BUT I digress…this particular meltdown happened this weekend when all NYC parents on Saturday morning were met with the news that while seemingly inevitable was hard to hear definitively — NYC schools were closed until September. GULP. But this came from the NYC Mayor on Saturday morning so there you have it. OR DO YOU?

NOT to be upstaged by the gaffe-making Mayor, is our Governor. In HIS daily briefing later that day — the ones which my friends and I have set our clocks to (get popcorn, some rosé and maybe slip into a little silk teddy or something I don’t know) Cuomo unleashed on the Mayor and his office and we all sat there watching. It was almost sport, like an animal hunting another and then not eating it because it was JUST FUN TO DO. That’s what it was like. Cuomo preyed on and ripped the insides out of the Mayor and then walked away like no thanks, not my thing. Here’s what happened. Cuomo says at his press conference that the decision to close schools in the state of New York is under HIS legal authority and no one else’s and with regards to what de Blasio said about schools closing, Cuomo referred to it as the mayor’s “opinion.” The socials went nuts and everyone is confused and no one knows anything anymore.

But we do know that the Cuomo-train is growing as shown here by the gift who is Randy Rainbow. This is the first Randy Rainbow video I have posted because we stay away from Trump stuff here at PCM because we are HIGH-BROW, but there is NO way to avoid this as it’s perfection. Randy makes total sense of the reasons so many people are loving the NY Gov. So for a break in the madness here you go and YOU MUST WATCH THIS BEFORE YOU READ ON YOU MUST:

OK, I am not done with this storyline QUITE yet. There’s a lot. But look, politics aside, it’s not the time for everyone to be fighting as entertaining as it is and I hope everyone gets together on this. AND…Cuomo needs to fix the rent issue asap as HOW THE HELL WILL PEOPLE PAY RENT RIGHT NOW.

But, and I say this in all seriousness, the NUMBER ONE THING the Gov needs to do before anything else is….tell his THIRSTY EX-GIRLFRIEND to pull it together and stop doing her press tour at the moment. Has she launched a new show? A new Book? NOPE. Apparently, she has seized the moment to say “WAIT, he’s a trending topic and I need EVERYONE TO KNOW HE IS STILL MY GUY.” I expect this from the Daily Mail aka my bible — but The New York Times?? REALLLLLY? The ONLY reason The New York Times wrote this story is because she is the governor of the moment’s ex-girlfriend which seems very UN NYT to me. Someone said to me, “That New York Times story is like a Tinder profile aimed at ONE SWIPER.” Like I said Sandra Lee….you thirsty.

Don’t believe me? Here you go from the woman who brought us THE KWANZAA CAKE DEBACLE:

El Sigh. Well for more Cuomo/de Blasio UFC Championships, check out:

A whole new world

DAYENU:

OK so a LOT happened on Saturday night that was amazing and weird and surreal and heart-warming. Let’s first talk about “Saturday Night Seder.” Whether you are Jewish OR Jewish-adjacent, let me say this — YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS. It’s so good. I can say this because it was a mix of everyone and everything. A little insight into me:

I was born a Quaker, baptized a Presbyterian, First Communion-ed a Catholic and then finally, Confirmed an Episcopal at 16. Only to find out thru 23&Me I am 88 percent Ashkenazi Jew so A. I AM VERY CONFUSED and B. I DO ALL THE HOLIDAYS ESPECIALLY ONES WITH PRESENTS and C. I feel I pretty much am an authority on a lot of religions. Though not Lutherans…that’s ONE I do have insight into..YET. BUT ANYWAY….

Jason Alexander aka Stuckey AKA George Costanza AKA the guy we need to send a pair of Airpods too STAT, hosted a beautiful and funny seder to raise money for the CDC Foundation’s Coronavirus Emergency Response Fund. I knew it was going to be everything after I read the brilliant New York Times piece and I thought wait, you’re giving me Billy Porter, Beanie Feldstein AND IDINA MENZEL…. I mean YES, obviously:

I was so grateful to take part in a Zoom seder this past week and as weird and surreal as it was it was also really fun and beautiful and we drank a lot of wine like way more than the 4 cups, which being on Zoom made it ok for me to sneak (I literally had the wine on the floor by my feet under the table OFF camera) so that was a WIN. Needless to say, I am also grateful for this gift and please take the time to watch it now or later but DO IT:

OK, but there was even more Saturday Night Magic. “SNL AT HOME”, was….well, I loved it. The work it must have taken to make I cannot even imagine. OK, so it was not LIVE but it was nevertheless magical, albeit a little weird. Getting a glimpse into everyone’s lives, with no costumes and no sets and no make-up and Kate McKinnon’s cat, all hosted by our Dad, Tom Hanks just felt VERY GOOD. I got teary, I even cried at the ads that were all about being in this together. Actually let’s start there.This Walmart ad GOT ME. Wait what? WALMART? YEP. YOU BETCHA. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed some more but was captivated by the images and well see it for yourself:

And though I didn’t see this ad on Saturday, it still should be included as I loved it so much and also ugly-cried as will you:

BUT OK so let’s get back to SNL. I loved all of it, even the stuff I may not have liked on a normal Saturday, I loved with my whole heart THIS SATURDAY. But the Ruth Bader Ginsburg work out was maybe my fave. From Kate McKinnon dropping “GINSBURGs” to her telling Fauci she slipped into his DMs it is all brilliant and I LOVE YOU KATE MCKINNON AND I AM SORRY WHENEVER I MEET YOU I AM WEIRD BUT I GET WEIRD IN THE PRESENCE OF GREATNESS:

Watch the whole weird yet delightful show here please:

🙄 🙄 🙄

CELEBRITY OOPS THIS WEEK:

It’s not hard guys. Everyone is figuring it out and obviously everyone has different living situations but it’s HOW YOU PRESENT this living situation that really is important now. There are the ones who GET it and you appreciate that immensely like Howard Stern showing his co-host Robin Quivers, his low-key basement studio set-up. THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT PEOPLE.

And then…then there is Ellen who we love and adore and is one of our favorite hosts of all time. And I mean I appreciate what she was trying to do but unfortunately it did it not land right. Here’s what happened. Ellen premieres her talk show this past week from her HOME…she’s back on air doing her show from her beautiful and spacious home. And that’s awesome and totally ok that she has an amazing house and it’s really awesome for her to do that and i can’t Imagine how much work goes into getting that show up and running from her house — But then she makes a joke which I think was supposed to be a gay joke Or a jail joke or whatever it was…and it not land well and seemingly set people off.

I will say, I would not mind a jail where I had dozens of $350 James Perse lounge pants to curl up into in my 87,000 square foot home with spas and pools and all those palms. JAIL LOOKS GOOD guys. But to be honest I don’t care because I love Ellen so it’s fine by me.

NOT to be outdone..and perhaps in the most poorly timed story ever…Drake, the kid from Degrassi Junior High (NEVER FORGET) who tries to be all tough guy now, showed us into his house in an Architectural Digest cover story…and into his Hermès Birkin Bag collection he apparently has on hand for HIS FUTURE WIFE. For those who do not know, a Birkin Bag is an exclusive over the top handbag considered to be the most expensive in the world — ranging in price from $10K to $500K or more. For a bag (DM ME FOR MY ADDRESS IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME ONE). I mean I cannot even get into the whole look of the house because it is like a Countess Luann music video. HIS TUB WEIGHS 4000LBS. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.

Drake’s jail

SO for those in 4th floor walk up studio apartments, I urge you to maybe avoid these two for a while. But to learn more about this dowry Drake has on hand for his future bride I give you:

OK kids, it is pouring rain outside and my dog refuses to walk meaning I have to literally carry him somewhere in the middle of the woods to go do his business because he is a princess and I also don’t have much more to write. I NEED SUNSHINE. But I can share some things that definitely definitely made me smile this week:

  • THIS WAS THE BEST CONTENT OF THE WHOLE WEEK (Need Sound):
  • Silver Fox, Andrea Bocelli made us cry:

So that’s all I got today. Until next week my Pop Culture Junkies….PLEASE stay safe everyone — meditate, talk to friends (ALL THE TIME), bake those AMAZE CUPCAKES I TOLD YOU ABOUT, get some fresh air, do the RPG workout, try to sleep, watch EVERYTHING. And see you SOON.

I’m playing around with the formatting and sign ups, so if you want this in your inbox (or if you want to provide any feedback or send me snacks) PLEASE send an email to subscribepcm@gmail.com and PLEASE do send me things you want to see in next week’s edition. Or send me French Bulldog pictures, a sure way to my heart. Also please feel free to share this with anyone you know who could use some PCM right now.

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