Pop Culture Mondays/5.2.22

The “PIRATE” Edition

Welcome to my brain…

Happy Monday my darling pop culture junkies! Today is the pirate edition because of a Captain Jack Sparrow trend WHICH we will get to in a bit but… Baby Yoda in an eyepatch is appropriate as I am on the hunt for one for myself as I have QUITE the shiner and what apparently is a broken nose due to a fall I took this weekend in DC. A fall…more like a faceplant on the cobblestones of Georgetown which was due to me ONCE again attempting to wear high heels in precarious situations. I was not made for heels. I have a hard enough time walking as it is in just regular shoes, so I am now thinking my life’s work will be to advocate that it is OK TO SAY NO to heels. This might become my life’s work:

🚫👠

SO…the image seems perfect for the week. Though I will say despite my falling face-first onto cobblestones, I still managed to have an amazing time in DC for all the White House Correspondents Weekend festivities. It was a very eclectic mix of people I will say and of all the people I got to meet, I was maybe MOST excited by FAUCI. I mean it was FAUCI right there in the flesh, well ACTUALLY in a black turtleneck and jacket which was a whole look tbh. Frankly, the dude needed a pipe but I guess that would be off-brand. ANYWAY, the excitement of meeting him was SHORT-LIVED as he literally stared off into the distance as we talked to him — with the same look that he would have when having to stand behind Trump at a press conference. Like the look of “PLEASE can I be anywhere BUT here?” and I died inside and so just walked away mid-sentence which was basically how I was in high school so we just had a little trip down memory lane on that one! ANYWAY, I digress…let’s get into all the pop culture things that went down this week…and in case you want MORE takes on ELON buying Twitter (THIS WAS ONLY A WEEK AGO!) you can listen to last week’s PODCAST which I think was really fun:

This will be a bit short and sweet as my eyes are actually SO swollen it is hard for me to see all that well so please forgive my brevity or any weird typos. Welcome to my new subscribers and just a reminder…this is just a look at what’s been happening on the socials or in the pop culture zeitgeist. There are a lot of TikToks and I know that they can be slow to load so I apologize for that!

XO…

HARRY’S HOUSE:

Harry Styles has a genius comms team tbh. How involved he is in his own storytelling is a mystery to me but BOY am I all about it. So we are just coming off the heels of HARRYCHELLA as he dominated both weekends. Not only were his performances broadcast all over social media 24/7 but so were his moments in the crowd while snuggling his girlfriend, Olivia Wilde, whilst listening to Billie Eilish perform…FOR example.

See he did Coachella to promote his new album which is dropping later this month. The new album?

HARRY’S HOUSE.

So, imagine his PR team and him on a zoom brainstorming interviews/press ahead of the release? I am sure names like The New York Times or Vanity Fair or Rolling Stone were thrown around.

But then all of a sudden…in my fantasy it is a 26-year-old PR woman who has been silent the whole time, in fact, always is silent and just lets her bosses do all the talking because they never give her the time..all of a sudden she musters the courage and says, “What about the cover of BETTER HOMES & GARDENS?” The Zoom falls silent. The PR bosses look aghast as they think to themselves..OH NO, who let HER speak AND why is she not muted??? Then they start to jump in with nervous laughter thinking they need to fix this. But then Harry’s eyes widen.

“Tell me more,” he says, well aware of the dynamic with the team.

“Well,” the young PR woman nervously continues. “I think the cover would be YOU and the title would be “HARRY’S HOUSE” because that's the name of your album but also perfect for the cover of a HOMES magazine. And you will have a really cool vibe with the writer and then there will be lots of photographs of you outside in weird positions or in pajamas with a hole in your sock….”

The PR bosses put their heads in their hands…one mutes his Zoom and turns the camera off and starts screaming at his laptop.

But Harry gets it. HARRY loves it. Harry tells the 26-year-old PR woman that she is a genius.

ANYWAY…THIS IS MY FANTASY SO DEAL WITH IT. But alas…it WAS genius and HERE WE ARE:

And the socials went nuts and I have to imagine it was a HUGE success for Better Homes & Gardens. IT very much reminded me of the genius movie “Nottinghill” where Hugh Grant made up a job at HORSE & HOUND Magazine:

I highly recommend reading this article tbh:

But that is not all the Harry Styles news that made the rounds this week. Some of you are aware that his girlfriend who he met on the set of his new film is Olivia Wilde, the director of the film. Olivia was engaged to TED LASSO star, Jason Sudekis and they share two kids together. It is believed that she called off her relationship with Jason for Harry but really no one knows and none of our business. As it is a private family matter.

EXCEPT…

All privacy, shockingly, was thrown out the window this past week. While Olivia was on stage talking to a large group (like thousands) about the film, she was handed a manilla envelope with papers WHILE she was speaking:

CAN YOU EVEN?? First, let’s discuss how scary this is from a security perspective? This was at a large conference in Las Vegas…the fact someone could walk up onto the stage and get that close to her is stunning and terrifying. And then to have it be CUSTODY documents while she is presenting her film that she worked tirelessly on…? It is shocking. NOT a good look for Coach Lasso I am telling you. And while apparently this was not done with Jason Sudekis’ consent, it is pretty jarring regardless. But Olivia kept her composure in what was an impossible situation. NO idea how she did it but my level of respect for her is as high as it gets. All class.

The internets believe Sudekis was undone with anger due to all the Harry Styles media attention. REGARDLESS, the one thing it DID do was turn the Harry fans who were hating on Olivia out of jealousy into DEFENDERS of her. So a silver lining maybe?

Dear lord…

CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW:

Look, I am not going to lie. If I were to craft my perfect man out of clay I am pretty sure it would basically be Captain Jack Sparrow. And let me be clear. That is Johnny Depp AS Captain Jack Sparrow. I have always loved a bad boy…so here we are (NO not the abusive crazy overacting Johnny but the one from the past…). And Captain Jack Sparrow is at the very heart of this wild ride we are on with this Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial which I have written about the last few weeks. Because Disney fired Depp FOUR days after Miss Heard’s OpEd published in the Washington Post detailing her experience with domestic abuse. And while she never mentions Depp by name, it was obvious and Disney brass felt they had no choice. And Depp lost his beloved character. Now, he is known for so many amazing characters like Edward Scissorhands or Willy Wonka or my fave DETECTIVE TOM HANSON:

Look at his cute little gun you guys.

OK…ANYWAY…as it was reported today, Miss Heard has fired her PR team with the hopes that somehow a new PR Team in the middle of a trial can turn things around for her. (It doesn't work that way guys, sorry to say.) But the reason IS that the entire social media world is seemingly on Team Johnny and what was once NOT ok to say, is being said. And that is that people EN MASSE do not believe Amber Heard. Simply because there is an abundance of audio/video showing her as the abuser in many cases. SO, the socials have reacted and there is a new trend on TikTok called the JACK SPARROW RUN inspired by none other than…

Here are some of my faves:

I wonder if stuff like this will hit Disney bosses (whoever THEY turn out to be but that’s another newsletter…) and make them re-consider bringing Johnny back in this role.

This is a character Johnny Depp took very seriously as shown by the many videos going around that show him visiting children’s hospitals in character back when he was still playing him:

And while this PRO-JOHNNY propaganda if you will, plays out on social media…so does the trial OF THE CENTURY. And we have a new hero. Johnny’s (Mr. Depp, I go between the two I guess)…doorman. And our man was not HAVING it. He did the testimony from his car…while vaping. And he speaks for everyone here:

I mean…it gets funnier…watch this clip and wait for the end to see the judge…it is PRICELESS:

I mean honestly, this is the stuff of dreams. I cannot get enough of it:

If you don’t get that it is a circus, just read this little number:

AND NOW FOR SOME OF MY FAVORITE THINGS (OR SOME OF THE DESPICABLE ONES…)

Brace yourselves. All I ask.

  • If your kid is asking you for bottles of Sprite…here is why. Get ready for it. It is called THE SPRITE CHALLENGE which is getting people to drink a Sprite quickly and without burping. Seemingly impossible:

You get the idea…

  • THIS new tactic by brands to get people to swipe is making me want to throw it all away. BURN IT DOWN.
  • OK…so I very nearly skipped PCM this week entirely because of this. Because…because this killed me. ANd I am NOT showing video of this…but I saw videos so you can imagine how my week is basically over. BUT in case you hear your kids refer to “PORTA POTTY DUBAI” viral videos…remove their phones from their possession. Like for real, you are much better served to have them find old porno mags than to ever see this video. But the idea is this…a video of an influencer doing something SO beyond the pale of disgusting in order to get fancy things bought for her has TikTok and Twitter in a whole mess. I am really undone. Sorry but to give you any sort of idea as it is being talked about everywhere:
  • Thought long and hard on how to follow that up like WHAT DO I WANT to follow that with and I decided the only thing that made sense was this:

Yeah, so things NO ONE ASKED for include THE META STORE aka the Facebook store. Nope, no thank you. I mean, what are they selling in this store? USER DATA? It boggles the mind. I love my QUEST 2 but no chance am I meandering into a META store to buy anything.

  • EVERYONE is talking about this movie. I have not watched it yet but WILL be on my flight tomorrow! Also, I hope the Brooke in another universe is really fucking good at walking in heels.
  • And when in doubt Netflix, sell sex! That’s what this movie is all about and another hot topic on the socials:
  • And this shall be my new obsession. True Crime? CHECK. Andrew Garfield? Check. CHECK CHECK CHECK.

THAT IS IT my darlings…

WOO boy did we cover a lot even though I initially said it will be short and sweet. Thankfully I still have a little use out of my right eye which was really ALL we needed.

Please do check out the POP CULTURE MONDAYS ON THURSDAY podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. It’s a lot of fun. It is basically like sitting around a table with me having wine and cheese. JOIN US!

If you aren’t already a subscriber (PLEASE PLEASE SUBSCRIBE!!!) and please do SHARE this with all your friends…and IF want this in your inbox please send an email to:

subscribe@popculturemondays.com

Or CLICK SUBSCRIBE below!

--

--

--

A weekly round up of all the news you’re too embarrassed to admit you don’t know. Or too embarrassed to admit you DO.

Recommended from Medium

Perfect Human Hair Extension

the best way to collect quality hair extensions

I Would Make a Terrible Assassin

Lazy/Greedy Disney Writers: A Regex Story

Albert Ein

S4 — E15: Glitter Is a Girls Best Friend

3 Things I’m Good At: Sleep, Movie Food

The Right Stud by Ilsa Madden-Mills & Tia Louise

A Puptail named Sex on the Bitch served at London DOG pub 🐩 🍹

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Brooke Hammerling

Brooke Hammerling

Talk to me about tech, pop culture, cheese or dogs.

More from Medium

Pop Culture Mondays/4.25.22

Oakland’s First Black-Owned Business Collective Officially Opened This Past Weekend

Celebrating 5,000 B Corps and the People Who Power Them

Bikeshare Can Help SF Meet Ambitious Goals, Once We Decide Who Will Own It

A rack of blue e-bikes owned by Bay Wheels on a San Francisco street.