Pop Culture Mondays
My Vag…
by Brooke Hammerling on Monday, January 13, 2020
Sorry for the delay guys but A. I have a real job and B. I wrote this all early this morning (it was brilliant) before the sun was up and then deleted everything accidentally and I cried and then drank more coffee and realized this was divine intervention because OSCARS and ROYAL SUMMIT and well here we are. There is a lot of ground to cover this week..some expected…some not. But, lots to feed your pop culture junkie brains!
THIS WEEK’S TOP STORIES:
DIDN’T THINK THIS WOULD BE THE LEAD STORY DID YOU?
Maybe not the top story, but I think the most important story. And since we are all talking about famous people launching brands and trademarking things, let’s start here. Not since we learned about the vagina egg that recharges in the moonlight, has anything Goopier come out…till now. The now SOLD OUT $75 candle was for sale on Goop and it apparently smells JUST like Gwyneth’s vagina. (PS: it’s really freaking hard typing Gwyneth so I am going to from now on refer to her as GP, the same way Goop does.) ANWAY I digress but GP’s vagina apparently smells like, “geranium, citrusy bergamot, and cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed.” So there’s that. Good for you girl, proud of you.
BONUS CONTENT: I CANNOT believe I forgot to add this in the earlier version because it’s all I could think about when I first saw this candle. Not all of you know Awkwafina got her start making amaze YouTube videos and nothing better than THIS to sum up the vagina candle:
More here on candle here:
THE MESSIAH IS COMING:
This is Grimes. She is the singer, songwriter, visual artist girlfriend of Elon Musk. In a series of Instagrams, she revealed she was pregnant with an actual baby, whom everyone ASSUMES is Elon’s baby. Elon responded in a very Elon way by tweeting “x is y,” because, of course. This news overshadowed the news from earlier in the week showing Elon DANCING IN CHINA, which is iconic. How did we get so lucky?!
Baby Tesla:
This is 2020 Dancing (MUST SEE TV):
BONUS VIDEO: Is it just me or is Grimes giving off a VERY THE 5TH ELEMENT vibe in her Insta? You know the blue lady opera singer? Here is the best clip from one of the best movies ever and you should watch immediately:
SPONCONGATE 2020!!!
OK so SPONCON aka sponsored content is a newish revenue model for publications. I mean even The New York Times has it, so it’s not that big of a deal anymore. But it is a big deal if the sponsored content runs without a statement saying what it is. So here is the problem and what went down only a few days ago but then overshadowed by the big news across the pond (WE WILL GET TO THAT STAY COOL).
Teen Vogue published a very positive story — some would call it GLOWING — about how Facebook is protecting political speech and ensuring the “integrity” of the 2020 election. A funny yet tragic story considering how much information we have around the fake news allowed on Facebook, aka propaganda and how deep fakes in political ads are basically allowed but I digress. So this glowing story posts. Like a normal article. But then shortly after, an editor’s note appears above the article explaining this is sponsored content. BUT THEN. Shortly after that, that editor’s note disappears. AND THEN….the entire article is gone. This is after Facebook’s COO Sheryl Sandberg, has called attention to the article by posting it and sharing her love for it (ahem).
This got media Twitter in a frenzy! And then Teen Vogue and Facebook issued statements…first, Facebook says it is not sponsored content, then it says OOPS sorry there was a misunderstanding. Seriously, the gang who could not shoot straight. Apparently, there was a sponsorship around the Teen Vogue Summit which already happened yet THIS specific paid article was meant to be a part of said sponsorship. Anyway, it’s all sorts of funny because obviously no one thinks Facebook is bringing integrity to the election. (Sorry but no.)
THE WORLD STOPPED:
Not since then-candidate Bill Clinton told the world he tried smoking the pot but NEVER INHALED, have we all collectively questioned a candidate’s response in an interview. It left everyone talking - and this is NOT hyperbole, I mean I had bartenders and friend’s husbands ask me how this was possible. OK so here’s what’s what. In a superb and in-depth Q&A with Cosmopolitan, the inevitable final question was about Warren’s skincare in which she confessed to never ever ever washing her face and only using Pond’s moisturizer. SHE NEVER WASHES HER FACE? She has all that TV make up on and she never washes her face? This left people unsure whether to believe her, or shocked at how she could be so….gross? Also, let’s just say it — she has incredible skin. So it’s your call!
But read this interview because it’s awesome:
And the amazing skin that has never been cleansed!
THE NEW ROYALS:
If you aren’t watching Schitt’s Creek, I don’t even know what you are doing here tbh. Seriously, stop reading this garbage and go immediately watch it. And I am actually seriously jealous if you are JUST starting down this binge-fest as you have SO MUCH TO LOOK FORWARD TO. This incredible series follows the Rose family, the obscenely rich family who lost everything because apparently they weren’t paying taxes and they move to a motel they own and are able to hold onto in a teeny backwater town called…Schitt’s Creek. From Moira’s wigs to David’s perfect one liners, the show is now in its final season and was the brainchild of Daniel Levy aka David Rose aka Johnny Rose’s son aka Eugene Levy’s real son. The show is a true Hollywood story (the kind we like) as the show was not a runaway hit at first but thankfully we have the Netflix and it caught on.
Please read about my family here:
And one of our fave scenes featuring David and Moira Rose (You’re welcome):
CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE MEN:
The Lord works in mysterious ways, so thankfully my deleted post this morning means I get to include THIS gem from earlier. The Oscar noms were announced this morning and as usual, there were a bunch of missteps. No JLO. No Awkwafina. No Queen Bey. No Greta. And a ton of dudes in categories that could be ANY GENDER. Hollywood loves Hollywood (so boring and I have personal feelings on this yes but whatever) and Hollywood loves its MEN. And this morning when Issa Rae, actress and writer and badass content creator, announced the nominees for best Director she simply said what the world is feeling, “Congratulations to those men.” And that says it all. And as many have pointed out the Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor categories seem to be from the 1998 Time Machine. Well anyway, we love Saoirse Ronan with our whole heart so a huge congrats on her FOURTH Oscar nomination and go see LITTLE WOMEN IMMEDIATELY.
BONUS VIDEO: Learn how to pronounce her name on this MUST see from SNL a couple years ago.
LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST……..
You know we had to talk about this. The Royal bombshell. The thing making it impossible for us American girls who love British boys (it’s true, what can I say) to EVER be brought home to meet English mums EVER again. There have been a lot of headlines, none of which I want to repeat here. There’s been a lot of analysis as to WHY, and WHY now, and WHY this way, which I can’t even unpack.
Here’s the story in a nutshell: 2 beautiful people who had a lot of childhood trauma find one another and fall in love and navigate dysfunctional families the best they can and navigate famous friends with advice to give (OPRAH I AM LOOKING AT YOU) and have a baby and that changes EVERYTHING and Piers Morgan is an asshole and Vancouver is like another planet which is appealing and they just quit, basically. But not entirely. So here’s the stuff I want to point out:
The Sussex Royal website. It’s pretty! It’s glam! It looks like Meghan’s lifestyle blog The Tig (same designers because this is TIG 2.0!!!) and it has a LOT of words. Like too many for my dyslexic brain. And it talks about….MONEY. GASP. NO! There’s a lot to unpack here. But we are waiting for the Sussex Royal vodka am I right?
And then there is Prince Harry asking Disney boss Bob Iger for a job for his wife. Which admit it, is the DREAM. He’s a real prince!! And they would donate the money to the elephants which I mean is also the dream so let’s focus on the positive. They can actually make a difference.
AND the SUMMIT OF SANDRINGHAM has come to an end. The family met! Meghan apparently joined via conference call. Like did she ZOOM? Was it an Uber Conference? I have SO many questions! Did she have an official dial in or did the Queen merge calls?? Anyway, their strategy worked. They got what they wanted. The Queen apparently has even approved the branded content we have to look forward to. The Queen made a statement which uses the word “family” like 8 times in a few sentences. FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY. And with that the queen bids them the ultimate GO WEST YOUNG MAN. PS: I know I have skipped over a lot but it’s just all too much.
And we close with this, as we all imagine it went down:
Until next week Pop Culture Junkies….
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