Black Christmas (2006)
This review may contain spoilers.
After Halloween Kills, I honestly thought I would never see a more terrible horror movie. Oh boy, was I wrong. Black Christmas is completely unredeemable. There is NOTHING good about this movie. I really don’t think I have ever seen a movie that had absolutely nothing going for it. Not a single actor is any good, the editing makes it impossible to follow the action, the killers’ motives are asinine and no one is likeable! Usually, the final girl is someone you root for, someone whose survival you revel in; you celebrate with her when she triumphs over those who want to kill her. I cannot say that about this movie’s final girl, hell I don’t even know her name. There were way too many interchangeable sorority sisters. Sure, they had some physical differences and one of them got drunk, one was snarky and one was dorky, but aside from that, what was the difference and how did those differences inform the actors’ choices? I have no idea because these characterizations never went anywhere.
I love horror, it is one of my favorite film genres. I don’t mind blood, gore and even seemingly senseless killings in films, as long as they make sense in the context of the story. This was just dumb, dumb, dumb and distasteful. An absolute complete waste of time. 0 stars
