The Writing Game

I can’t believe how much better I am now. I’ve had one hell of a year and one day I will write about it all. For now, I need to be here in this place mentally. My meds have been helping stabilize me in ways I have never felt before. I’m no longer depressed or restless or expansive or angry. I’m neither up nor down, I’m content. Yes there are things in my life I want to change (pretty major things in some cases) but I am content to start where I am and make a plan without allowing it to ruin the current moment. The only problem is, I’m having a hard time writing. When I was depressed or hypomanic, the writing would flow out of me. Now, I seem to be stuck. I’m too content to dwell on my mental illness, which was the extent of my writing. I have no idea what to write about other than that. I know I must write about my experiences over the past year, but I don’t know where to start nor do I currently have the desire to relive the horrific moments. There are so many things that happened of which I’m deeply ashamed. I know I must write about this eventually, but right now I can’t seem to summon up the energy to be able to go to that place again. I am just feeling better, I don’t want to go back.