Don’t be a great provider but a horrible parent.
Raising ‘Joy-Filled’ Children
Not too long ago, I heard someone say, “I was a great provider but a horrible parent.” Hearing that hit me deeply.
I thought to myself, A great provider but a horrible parent?
When I reflect on my own childhood, I see that quote mirrored in the way I was raised. Providing a child with clothes, food and basic necessities is one thing, but truly parenting them by giving them guidance, nurture and care is another. Growing up, I wished my mom had cared about how she spoke to me and how she made me feel. I wished she had cared enough not to abuse me, but she still did. If she had paused to reflect on her actions, maybe, just maybe, the abuse wouldn’t have happened.
To avoid repeating my mother’s mistakes, I constantly second-guess myself and everything I do with my son. I constantly question whether I’m a good mom. Am I giving him enough attention? Was I nice enough when I said that to him? Should I have done this or that? My husband always mentions how I must be careful not to swing too far in the opposite direction, giving our son too much leniency, which might lead him to become a horrible.
Recently, I’ve been reading a book called *How to Raise Joy-Filled Children*. The book discusses four main ways to raise joy-filled children, one of which is healing broken bonds. This made me realize how crucial it is to heal from past trauma and generational curses. Those things can repeat itself in areas of your life causing you to be a good provider, but a horrible parent. This is the first step in raising joy filled children. You can’t teach a child to love others, if you can’t love yourself. You can’t guide a child in all his ways if you lack guidance within yourself.
Being a great provider and a great parent that will raise up joy filled children starts with healing from your own trauma and scars first so you don’t repeat them. Confront your own childhood experiences. Identify what you don’t want for your child. Commit to being better in those areas where your parents fell short.
By doing so, we can break the cycle of trauma and create a nurturing environment where our children can thrive. Let’s strive to be both great providers and great parents, ensuring our children feel loved, valued, and joyful.
Bless you all as you embark on this journey of healing and growth. May we all raise children who are not just well-provided for, but also deeply happy and well-loved.
Do you like my writings? Read more content from me.
I write about Jesus: https://medium.com/believersandsaints
My stories of Parenthood: positive-learning-with-alex
All things self help: https://medium.com/own-confidently
