An effective antidote to compulsive self-blaming
It’s available to everyone if you want it badly enough
Disclaimer : If you are experiencing serious psychological problems, seek a consultation with a professional psychotherapist. Do not take this article as a doctor’s prescription
As you may have already read in my medical article, excessive self-criticism have a very negative effect on health. Especially with age, when the body’s defense mechanisms weaken. Even if you are still young, you should already think about it now. Because it can take many years to correct this habit.
Dissatisfaction with yourself can be different and not necessarily lead to problems with physical or mental disorders. Moreover, we need a healthy self-criticism for development and growth in all aspects. But not all of us know how to do it correctly.
Many of us are mentally beat ourselves up instead of improving ourselves. And it is counterproductive not to love ourselves because of external or intellectual shortcomings. Because it is not always up to us.
And if it does depend on us, it is far better to work on ourselves instead of self-blame, trying to fix what we can. Isn’t it much better to direct the energy with which you are destroying yourself to self improvement.
We’re wasting an incredible amount of energy and damaging our health as well. Habits are often hard to get rid of and they can follow us all our life.
Сharacter traits are extremely difficult to correct. And is it always necessary? After all, by analogy to the right attitude and resistance to stress we can learn to reproach ourselves correctly, calmly, without irritation and neurosis, not for long.
The most effective self-criticism is self-correction, self-improvement. To admit mistakes, to admit your human weakness (we are all human, we all have weaknesses — this is natural, but it doesn’t mean that you have to give in to your weaknesses, which destroy us.
Bad things don’t just grow on one path, they’re everywhere. So don’t blame yourself when those things happen. Don’t let yesterday take up much of today. — Author: Kim Stanley Robinson
Overcome your guilt. Care, but not too much. Take responsibility, but don’t blame yourself. Protect, save, help- but know when to give up. They’re precarious ledges to walk. How do I do it? — Author: Brandon Sanderson
If a person is unhappy with himself, and considers himself bad and defective, then self-eating is the most useless thing he can do in this situation. Take a step, take half a step towards self-improvement, and then in a month you will be better. Maybe you still won’t be what you want to be.
But effort and help from other people, loved ones, teachers, coaches, doctors, qualified psychologists, God (if you’re a believer and ask him for help) surely help you to become much better and fuller than before. And then you will see that your pain will be less. Much less. You’ll see!
It also helps to have white self-irony, without the inflection. If you read medium articles regularly, you’ve probably come across authors who make fun of their shortcomings. This technique helps some people, too. It can be difficult at first, but the more you make fun of your own flaws, the easier you take them on yourself. ( disclaimer: the self-irony method doesn’t always work well for hypersensitive people )
So don’t waste the energy for self-hatred, start taking action and your pain will become much less in time. If you do nothing and continue to whine, then it will be even worse. You have to be able to forgive other people. In the same way, you need to forgive yourself, your weaknesses, your shortcomings. You think everyone is better than you?
You only think they are! It’s an illusion. We all have shortcomings. Someone who on camera seems the most successful at heart can feel miserable. Those who seem confident may feel complex at heart. The prettiest girl may consider herself ugly. It is only you who think everyone is better than you. You and I both have our strengths and we all have our weaknesses.
Don’t put too much emphasis on that. Stop listening to negative thoughts. Just stop. Ignore it, instead occupy your mind with positive thoughts and activities. Are you saying that others write better articles than you? And that makes you sad? But a lot of cool writers take ten years to do that. Many of them were at your level back in the day, maybe even lower.
But they were doing! The doing turns into a skill, the skill gradually improves. It needs patience, it needs letting go of the situation. What’s more, you have to understand your strengths. Some have a great memory and imagination and write mind-blowing pieces of fiction.
Somebody is able to tell about complicated things simply and easily, and we are grateful for that. Someone with his good humor lifts your spirits. The other person is a motivator. I also strongly suggest that you learn the marketing secrets of writing. Before readers love you, they first have to see you, hear you, read you, and more than once.
Content Marketing and competent distribution will help you speed up that process many times over. Learn from those who have already come a long way. Will you start acting?
