Sometimes we like to take the tedium out of doing chores with some excitement, and incentives.
Dressing up, dressing down, role play, and the Dom-sub dynamic all work for us when we’re home alone and trying to spice things up while getting work done, a true win-win situation.
Service in a BDSM relationship means different things to different people. In our relationship, we use service - the act of serving - in different ways.
By far the most often it’s as a treat to the other partner. When one of us has had a bad week or a difficult time in general, we use servitude as a form of pampering, both in a non-sexual and sexual manner.
Unsurprisingly, the former often leads to the latter! A neck rub or shoulder massage easily becomes a make-out session, which then happily turns into sexual gratification. Or not, more on that later.
In a different context, combined with role-play it’s an opportunity to live out a fantasy that one or the both of us have thought about. Service conducted in that manner is usually a bit more elaborate, with some sort of dressing up usually involved and a given time period planned.
Having a definition like that might sound very contrived and unromantic for some, but in a relationship where both of us are control freaks and crave structure, it’s quite necessary.
And then there’s the use of service as a form of punishment. For those who have pain-related fetishes, servitude neatly ties in with that kink. The denial mentioned above can also play a part here, where edging and unfulfillment are also areas we’ve explored. Finally, a reminder that no matter what your kink and how you choose to express it, please ensure you have these three things always in place (in some form or another):
- Consent - there is nothing more important in any relationship than trust, and without trust you will not have consent.
- Safety - sometimes things don’t go according to plan, and accidents happen. Establish a safe word, that either partner should be free to use, whether top or bottom.
- Aftercare - this might often be overlooked, but for us it’s critical as it helps give closure and a time to review before moving on from a session.
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