Ready to end the power struggles and have more peace at home?

5 ways to start your kids on daily routines

I have two kids with two very different ways of interacting with the world.

My son is a “morning person” who likes to chat and ask questions about the world as he eats his breakfast, as well as take his time to get ready, thinking big thoughts along the way, and exploring different ideas about what to wear.

Of course, this kind of curiosity should be encouraged in children, but it’s a challenge when you have to get out of the door at a certain time in the morning.

My other child, now a teen, is more of a “night owl”.

She has bags of energy in the evening, doing everything and anything before she can go to sleep.

When she was younger she would do anything to avoid going to bed. She’d “forget” to brush her teeth and then she’d get out of bed to do it, or she’d ask for just one more story to be read.

Again, this enthusiasm is great in children, but not so useful when you know you’ll both be like a bear with a sore head in the morning after not enough sleep.

Setting routines for both my children for morning and evening has helped ensure we keep the creativity and wonder in the morning, but means we also arrive at school or work on time. In the evening, the routine means still getting things done, and enjoying time together at the end of the day, but in a more relaxed environment.

Would you like to end power struggles and have more peace, while still keeping the enthusiasm and joy that your children bring, both morning and night? Here is what worked for me.

1- Introduce a routine

The world can be a scary place for children and adapting to change can be just as challenging for them as it is for us parents, especially if this involves a completely new routine for getting up in the morning or going to bed!

Most likely you are already you doing this to some degree morning and night. Take note of what needs to get done and make a list. Ideally you could do this together with your kids as a natural way to introduce a routine.

Erin O’Keefe, MA, PCI Certified Parent Coach of The Intentional Parent, explains: “A routine lets a child know what to expect. A routine provides them with a sense that life is predictable. A routine is calming, providing a child with a sense of security.”

“A routine is calming, providing a child with a sense of security.”

I think it is important to create a routine that works for your household. If you walk your kids to school, you might have a different routine than if you drive them. If you live in the country, the routine might differ to those living in the city, and so on.

2- Be consistent

It’s also crucial to ensure the routine is consistent and doesn’t change all the time so that your kids feel more calm and relaxed. It’s important for them to know that they can rely on this routine every day.

I’ve learned from friends who have kids with ADHD and other special needs that this is especially true for them, as routine and structure will help the kids to know what is coming next, and also to do it on their own, thus encouraging a greater level of independence.

O’Keefe says: “Making your routine better suited for encouraging independence may require a little restructuring, but the results are well worth the effort.”

3- Talk about the routine

While it is important to create consistency and not make changes all the time, there will be an element of trial and error. Review the list of steps in the routine, and work out which ones were followed every day, which ones were followed most days, and which ones were never followed. Ask yourself why the steps weren’t followed, and open this discussion up to your child as well. You may find out that just talking about it helps settle them back into the routine.

4- Stick with it

If your routine doesn’t work immediately, don’t throw in the towel. Return to step two as many times as you need to. And go for realistic not perfect.

You will most likely find that you need to work at a routine until it becomes a way of life.

5- Encourage

Remember, especially as you begin new routines, to give positive feedback on the accomplishments. Adding a checkmark or crossing off the list could also be a huge motivating factor for kids.

Would love to hear your thoughts

I would love to hear how routines have helped to restore your sanity, allowing you to enjoy some extra peace and quiet, with happier, healthier kids. Please let me know.

After talking with a number of parents, I discovered that the routines from family to family are quite similar. The Poster Family team became inspired to create beautiful posters for the kind of routines you might introduce for both morning and evening (and also meal time). You can check out the different design collections at posterfamily.com. We are a Danish company but English versions are coming soon.

And if you are already using one of our routine/ritual posters we’d love to see it in action. Photos can be shared with us on Instagram using hashtag #posterfamily or send them to us at hello@posterfamily.com.

Right now our posters are available for shipping within Denmark.