Jackson of All Trades
My Short Biography
I am Jackson Renner.
First of all, I find it very hard to write about my own life. I have tried to do it many times, but when I get down to it, I can never think of any wild things I have been through that have changed me. If I was to be completely honest, my life so far has been relatively predictable. My parents have been perfect for me and I have been supported at every step in my career here on planet Earth, so I have relatively been successful, so far. I know this is not what I would want to read at the beginning of a story, that the following words will be boring and predictable, but stick with me because my point is bigger than just that. The best way that I think I can explain my point about who I am is by a story, so I will talk about my career in sports which has been a big part of my life so far.
I played baseball since before I could remember through varsity in high school, swam for my high school, and even was about as competitive as you can get in ultimate Frisbee for one of UGA’s club teams. In each one of these sports I would work hard and go to every practice, but I would never be exceptional in any of them. I do not know if you, the beautiful reader yourself, have ever played in baseball or ultimate Frisbee competitively, but laying out, or diving, is about the best thing you can do. It is deciding in a split second, faster than your mind can consciously think, that what you are doing is worth danger. I always had a huge mental block with diving for baseballs or Frisbee. I always wanted to get better at it because it would help my game and it was the coolest thing to do, but it never became natural for me.
On the ultimate Frisbee club team, there was one very fun aspect to the season where everyone pays for both a red and black colored jersey, but you do not get the red jersey until you do something amazing that everyone agrees makes you deserving of it. Since it is ultimate Frisbee, players are normally light hearted in nature and a well-placed dive for a disc in the end zone would normally get you your red jersey, so I was never too worried about it and focused on the small aspects of the game instead of going for huge plays.
As the end of the season came closer and closer, though, I started to realize I had less opportunities to get my red jersey. The last tournament of the season came, meaning that it was the last chance for me to earn this jersey, so I was pretty determined to do it. I had already proved myself to the rest of the team as a pretty consistently dependable player, so they were not going to give me my jersey for any small action. I would have to go all out.
I remember one point we were playing and I was matched up with one of the better players on the opposing team. I cannot remember the team, but they had to have been good because he was a cocky player and I was pissed off at our losing score. I knew the only way I would feel successful this point was if I embarrassed him by making a huge play on him, so I went out of my comfort zone (which usually involved me being in the middle of the field looking for teammates to throw short passes to) and sprinted towards the end zone.
I am already a quick guy, but I was pushing myself a lot harder than normal because of all the things rushing through my head. I wanted my teammates to know I cared enough to deserve my red jersey, I wanted to win this game, and I wanted to lower the cockiness of the player guarding me even just a little. I caught my opponent off guard, so I had the open field in front of me with all the space for a well placed pass. Luckily, my teammate noticed me dashing for the goal and, after a fake pass to the backfield, gave a heavy step with his right foot forward to to put his body into the throw and sent the disc in the air with a flick of his wrist.
Everything was going perfectly. Both people, myself and my teammate that was throwing the disc, had deceived the men guarding us and the point was basically ours due to the fact that my teammate was great at long throws and that I was normally a decent receiver. As the disc floated closer to the ground, my legs started feeling like lead weights as all people’s legs do after sprinting for long distances, but I would be able to catch the disc if I left my feet to use my height as that extra distance between myself and the Frisbee. It was at a perfect height for me to catch the disc diving and not need to use my arms to brace myself, but instead just continue sliding.
I lurched the top half of my body forward to initiate the dive. I wanted that disc more than anything else in that moment, or so I thought. I reached my hand out to see if I could simply catch it, instead, and watched as the disc hit the ground and my sprinting became a sloppy chopping of my feet to slow down.
There is simply no reason why I should not have dived for that disc. What I told myself and probably told other people was that I thought that I could catch it without diving, but the only real sense I can make out of it now is that I did not want it enough. My conscious mind wanted it terribly, but my subconscious did not want to risk the danger.
The moral of this story is that I have spent my life never committing to one single thing. It used to be a joke on that same ultimate Frisbee team that I was the most extraordinarily average guy there. This is not necessarily a bad thing, in my mind, though. After that story, you might think that I am venting about my problems more than anything, but I am not. I think the best way to describe myself is as a “jack of all trades”. I enjoy so many different things, like playing music, listening to music, being with friends, playing Frisbee, building things, involving myself with Camp Kesem, and being a student at the University of Georgia, that I spread myself thin and try to be involved with all of them.
This ends up causing problems in times like the one I just described. I am not invested in one thing enough to produce the results that I want, but, at the same time, I do not know who I would be if I had not invested myself in all the small little hobbies that I have. Being an engineering major is the only thing that I ever ever wanted for my future. It makes me proud to set a goal and achieve in a way that can be seen and touched. Playing guitar is the only thing that has made me feel the most true and absolute emotion in my life. It is one of the only things that can relieve my stress at times. Playing sports also helps with this. I have always been a competitive person and I have to get it out in a physical way sometimes. Sports have also given me the most genuine friends in my life. Each one has shaped who I am in a special way.
This also leads me back to thinking about my mother and what she has done in her life. She is a talented women in so many different areas, but I do not think that she necessarily has had the leisure to spread herself thin like I have. Before this project I knew that both of my parents have worked very hard to get where they are, but now I understand more deeply that my mother stuck with her STEM job when it got hard and when other women in the same field chose not to. She gave up opportunities with other subjects or hobbies to be successful at what she does and this has led to giving me opportunity.
As I get older, I have started to recognize these things about myself and I have started to realize that growing up might mean that I need to become more like my mother in this aspect. I need to focus on a few things so that I can make money and be a successful individual in society. While I am in college, though, I will continue to explore everything the world has to offer and try new things. Although I may not dive into things completely, I try to take risks and I hope I continue that. After all, I think the biggest insult to what my mother and father have done for me would be not to use it to its fullest potential.
I am the loving son of Gina Renner. I am a hip-hop lover. I am a rock n’ roll lover. I play ultimate frisbee. I read philosophy books. I love math. I hate writing.
I am Jackson Renner.
