The Break Up (or: the day I started wearing glasses)

TL;DR — Not without a heavy heart, 2 months ago I moved to Vancouver, Canada from the other side of the world. I followed a dream opportunity to join Amazon, which meant my relationship with her was over. I cried, she didn’t. She is too proud, her parents taught her well.

Clarification: After a long and loving relationship with the .NET platform (and C#), I made a transition to Java. This story is a humoristic portrayal of how I feel about it.

The illusion

After being in a relationship long enough, there may come that unfortunate time when you start thinking if there is anything better out there. That is usually the time when you start taking for granted everything you have. You look at your friends and they all seem to have something better, younger and a lot more fun. And then you start wondering if you can have what they all have. After all, it’s not like they are better than you, right? And so you make the jump. In my case, I had to take it as part of my relocation deal.

I don’t want to make ALL the decisions myself

There is a lot of academic work done about the paradox of choice. In a nutshell, the idea is that when we have too much freedom of choice, we become paralyzed, unhappy and literally unable to make a choice. And even when we do finally make our mind about something, we will be pretty unhappy with our decision.

Anyways, back to my jump…
The first couple of dates were amazing, we just got to know each other. She was a little expressive at times, but that’s actually fine, it reminded me of home. That was the “Hello Honeymoon” phase.

But now I notice that I have to make a lot of the decisions myself. She does not mind how or where to run, where to eat or what to wear. She has no preferences, she wants me to decide. And to make matters worse, there is literally an endless assortment to choose from. I mean there are so many factories, designers and libraries to choose from, that I am getting lost. So eventually I get paralyzed and unable to reach a satisfactory decision.

Only 2 moths ago life was so much simpler, there was a right way to do anything. Most of the times it was 1 and only way. And that was the right way.

Getting used to her friends

That is actually the toughest part for me. I never thought this would be such a challenge, but an unfamiliar environment can make you feel unwanted and a complete stranger. Until 2 months ago, I spent most of my time with her in the comforts of a great Studio. Anyone who wanted to play with us, had to integrate with the Studio. Obviously after several years in the same playground, I knew almost every corner, every pitfall and every tool in there. I felt home.

Although her friends are very IntelliJent, it takes time for me to feel comfortable around them. I can’t say I am quite there yet, but I am spending a lot of time and efforts to like them and make them love me back. I am pretty sure that my investment in getting comfortable with her closest environment will eventually pay off. At least I am hoping so…

What now?

I’ll be honest, I still miss her. But I think that I am actually moving on. I still listen to her Podcasts at night, because you know, habits die hard. I hope that someday we will meet again as friends, maybe when the wounds are healed we can work on a pet project together.

But for now I bid her farewell…

Shonn Lyga

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