Becoming a People Person
Webster’s Dictionary defines People Person as someone who enjoys being with other people and not necessarily has a good communication skill. Some people can walk into a room and light it up. They have an energy around them that makes others instantly gravitate to them. Some people are naturally like this, but others have to put extra effort into being a people person.
Becoming a people person always started with a friend, how to make friends. Here are my tips based on my personal experience:
Be who you truly are
It’s overheard that you have to be yourself in order to make friends. Indeed, it’s true. It takes zero effort to be yourself, and most of the time, people will appreciate it more. It makes life much easier, and it will help other people to understand you even better. Also, pretending to be someone else can lead to no good. Others will find it difficult to accept us as ourselves.
Approach them first
Some people will feel much appreciated when someone approached them first. They are happy because someone noticed their existence in this world (yes, let’s face it, some people wondered why they exists). So, don’t wait to be approached.
These two tips that I mentioned above won’t guarantee that you will able to make friends. In my case, it works most of the time, and also, it can leave you a good first impression on them.
Creating a good first impression is very important; it’s the first step into a longlasting relationship (friendship wise). Of course, this first step is not enough to maintain a relationship. Hence, we can do several things:
Build trust
The number one rule in any kind of relationship is trust. Building a trust can be done by simply being honest, not just to others, to ourselves too. The minute you start lying to each other, that minute also you will destroy the trust wall.
Be there for them
A friendship is a supportive union between two people. Be there for your friends where you can. Does any of your friends currently need help? Is there anything you can help them with? Like Joey Tribbiani said in Friends Season 4 Episode 1,
“I stepped up. She’s my friend and she needed help.”
Help them because you want to, not because you feel obliged to. They 100% will appreciate your existence besides them even if you can’t help them, and you will get the best reward in return (the satisfaction of helping others, and the fact they appreciate you).
Get to know them personally
Creating a close connection takes time. Two hundred hours, in fact, according to a 2018 study. When you’re just starting to get to know someone, have small talks with them. These small talks eventually can lead to something deeper and meaningful. This also helps you to understand them easily.
Positive vibes only
A simple hi and hello when you meet them or smiling at them (not in a creepy way) can send positive vibes to others. Most people hate when you are rude without no reason (or sending them negative vibes) and can lead them to avoid you.
Understand People
One of the critical factors in maintaining a relationship is to understand the person. It’s not an easy task since different people have different personalities and constant difficulty relating to others can leave you feeling alienated, frustrated, and overwhelmed by loneliness. Understanding people always started with yourself, how well you know and understand yourself. Then we can move on to understand people and here are some useful tips (that I personally use) to help understand people easier:
Expect it to takes time and energy
As I’ve said before, understanding people is not an easy task. It will take much more time and energy than you expected. So if you think one small talk is enough, and that one small talk makes you decide that person is not worth it, think again. Stop any quick judgments and commit to being more open and available to the experience of getting to know someone, then triple the time you think it might take.
Drop the assumptions
Instead of figuring out whether they like you or not, imagine them as a blank canvas. You know nothing until you spend time with your canvas (by painting it).
Become a better listener
‘Half listening’ is a bad modern habit — we listen as we check our phone or as our mind goes over the shopping list. Become a better listener by trying to clear your mind of other things and entirely focussing on what the person is saying, leaving a pause before you respond instead of interrupting.
To conclude, becoming a people person always starts making friends, leaving a good first impression, maintaining that relationship, and understanding each other. These aspects play a massive role in people management; they are crucial to create an ideal and comfortable working environment. I applied these aspects to my team and it works fine.
BisaGo Team
In BisaGo, the developer team consists of four people, and because we came from the same class and will be in the same class for the next few semesters, we are pretty close (we usually spend some time, work on assignments together to help maintain our relationship with each other). The first two aspects, checked.
We can say that we have a better understanding of each other’s assignments, personalities, and skills. We usually have a coding session on Discord, and it’s not rare that this coding session only includes silence. I feel safe and comfortable around them even though there’s only silence because we can immediately help each other’s task. We also often share our knowledge with each other since we understand that we do not always understand everything. The last aspect, checked.
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