Is there a kill-switch for clickbait?

Since I broke my leg, I’ve been on a magical mystery tour of finding out what my body can and cannot do. This has involved yoga, spin class that shall not be named, and epic hikes throughout the California wilderness. But before I go and get all smug about how awesome I am, I reread This is What Happens to Your Body When You Stop Exercising on io9 and am reminded I am merely pints of Three Twins away from Idiocracy. Remain vigilant, people.

Another reminder that next time you complain about clickbait or listicles, we’re getting the storytelling we deserve.

Politics?

Question: Should the Department of Homeland Security be able to cut cell service in an emergency situation? The Supreme Court may decide that very hypothetical, as they’ve been asked to consider whether or not Standard Operating Procedure 303 (such an ominous name, am I right?) is constitutional.

Dive into the stinky, mucky waters of Scott Walker’s “racially divided world.” Spoiler alert: you won’t enjoy it.

Ben Carson is making some headway in the polls, and it seems he has his sights on Trump voters.

And in other Trump news, he spoke with Maureen Dowd at the Times and it went just as absurdly as you’d think.

And in other absurd news, Gawker requested emails from Clinton aide Phillipe Reines from the State Department. State Department was like “nuh uh, can’t hear you, no records exist.” So Gawker sued, and whoops, State department found the around 17,000 emails they were asking for. Seriously though, this email scandal is, and has been, absolutely astounding. This should never, ever, have been an issue with Clinton’s campaign, and yet it’s turning into BS whack-a-mole. There are 17,000 emails to comb through — we can bet on this not leaving the cycle before the ice caps melt. :/

TECH SH!T

Mandy Stadtmiller, my favorite newswhore and yours, published her piece on how technology will haunt you with your past relationships until you die and beyond. READ IT.

My cracked-screen iPhone 5 makes my colleague die a little everyday, but I can’t bring myself to buy a new iPhone due to knowing that the new version is about to crest on the horizon. So thank you Verge for helping my decision fatigue with this amazing “How to Buy an iPhone 6” Choose Your Own Adventure.

Today, in how to be a woman on the internet: don’t turn down men who ask if “you wanna get married” and tell you you’re “the one” having never met you. They go nuclear.

And for some morning cute, meet Jojo, a service dog at a court in Contra Costa! WHO’S A GOOD GIRL.

Bye!

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

By clapping more or less, you can signal to us which stories really stand out.