How Music Can Become Your Best Friend During Your Worst Times
Music can be such a powerful form of self-expression and self-care. It’s the best friend that never leaves.
Music has been a big part of my life. Ever since I can remember, I have always had a love for music. Like others, I find it to be very therapeutic. Some create music to heal. Some listen to music to heal. The melodies and lyrics bring you to a different place.
Some happy, some sad, some in-between.
I remember putting on shows in my living room or singing karaoke with a machine that my father had given me. I had dreams of becoming a famous singer.
Music followed me throughout my school career as well. I was in the school band, marching band, chorus, and school musicals.
As I became a teenager, music was a way for me to cope.
Therapy was uncommon and not an option for me. So, it became a way for me to vent, whether it be through the lyrics or the melodies. Even today, as an adult and a parent, when a certain song comes on the radio, it takes me right back to a specific time in my life when that particular song meant so much to me.
Some songs spark joy, others spark anger, and some even spark sadness.
Instantly, I return back to that broken teenage girl and help her get out whatever she needed to get out during that time. Some of my favorites included Simple Plan’s “Welcome to My Life” and “Shut Up.” Another is the Ashlee Simpson album “Autobiography.” They were used as a way I could get my aggression out. They formed the words I couldn’t or was afraid to form, for myself.
Kelly Clarkson’s music became a big part of my life. Two albums describe my teenage years and my college years: Breakaway and Stronger. Her song “Because of You” describes the relationship between my mother and myself. I would listen to this song over and over. Looking back, I was clearly crying out for help. There was a time later when I could not listen to this because it was too painful. Even now, I am reminded of the lyric “I watched you die. “I heard you cry every night in your sleep. I was so young you should have known better than to lean on me.”
Music Can Get YouThrough Tough Times
Katy Perry’s album “Prism,” got me through the most challenging and transformative part of my life. Her debut single, “Roar,” helped launch me into this healing journey. Her lyrics resonated with what I was going through abandonment; heartbreak; defeat; and courage. It was the first time in a long time that I felt like it was OK to be myself.
Soon, other songs on her album resonated with me. “Love Me”, “Ghost.” These songs gave me the confidence to start over.
There are times when I listen to those songs, and it allows me to reflect on my journey and how far I have come. Lyrics from “By The Grace of God,” makes me proud to know that “I am enough. Possible to be loved. It was not about me.”
I’ve come to find out it was never about me. It was about them and I was just being used simply as a supply.
Music has always been a big part of my life. It has inspired me to be the best version of myself. It’s been the best friend that I’ve had with me throughout my life thus far. It supports you, lends you a shoulder to cry on, never judges you, and no matter how long it has been since you’ve last caught up, it takes you right back as if nothing has changed.
© Practical Growth 2023
Jaclyn Mistretta Godfrey is an LCSW, therapist, and narcissistic abuse survivor, who wants to help women heal from narcissistic abuse. She also hosts her own Disney World YouTube Channel called “The Magic World of Jackie.”
