I don’t know about you, but I’ve had a lot to think about so far this year…
Here’s what I figured out about narcissistic families and healing.
The end of the year was a total sh*tshow for me, and it got me thinking a lot about family. Not just my family, but family in general. Specifically, how the narcissistic family bends and twists the reality of their children.
There really is no good place to be raised in a narcissistic family. There’s no “safe space”.
Whether you were the golden child, the forgotten child, the scapegoat, or something in between, you got handed a heavy burden. No narcissist loves their children entirely, and that hurts…even when it’s deep down.
The reality is that each of those roles comes with a lot of work and a lot of healing.
The Golden Child: Although they get the most “favorable” attention of the narcissist, they deal with a lot of burdens. This child can grow up to become an adult who is a perfectionist, who is hard on themselves, and even harder on others.
The Forgotten Child: This child gets left out of the mix, and in that they lose themselves. When you’re forgotten, it’s easy to imagine that no one really loves you. It’s easy to fall prey to hyper-independence. You have to learn how to be vulnerable and how to trust yourself.
The Scapegoat: The child that gets it the hardest early on usually goes one of two ways. They either resent being blamed for everything wrong, so they break away. Or, they adopt the behaviors of the family in order to survive. In either case, the true self is denied and has to be rediscovered in adulthood to heal.
All of these children have one thing in common…
They have to grow up to be stronger than they ever imagined. They have to take risks for themselves to break the pattern and build happier and healthier families.
That’s a big ask, but it’s possible.
It’s possible to figure out who your true self is. It’s possible to stop the triangulation, the back-biting, the worry, the anxiety, and the hate. But only if you’re willing to do the work. To really change the way you see yourself and everyone else around you.
Where are you in this journey?
Are you doing the work? Or are you sitting back, waiting for something to change? The thing about narcissistic abuse is that it’s coded deep, deep down in our brains. It dwells in our subconscious and comes out before we even realize we’ve harmed our children, our families, and our relationships.
For you to make sure you don’t become the narcissist you feared most, you have to do conscious work. You have to change from the inside out, and you have to take small steps to do that each and every day.
That’s why I do what I do. Because I know how deep the rabbit hole goes. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I’ve broken the cycle, and I know that I’m nothing like the past that created me.
And that’s why I can help you.
If you want to undo the pattern, if you want to escape the role that has been placed on you by a narcissistic parent, a narcissistic family — that’s what I do.
In 2-months, I can give you the tools to rewire your brain and the behaviors that have brought you here. I can give you the tools to build better relationships, to finally gain that career, and to start making a difference in your life. But I can’t do it without you…
Apply now and join the waitlist for my 2-month 1:1 coaching program.
This is your chance to make sure 2024 doesn’t become the mess that 2023 was. Join my waitlist now and take the first step to recovering your heart and your sense of self in the wake of narcissistic abuse.
Spots are limited! Only 6 applicants will get to work with me. So, if you say you’re serious about changing your life — you know what to do.
Remember, no one calls the shots but you. You have the cosmically-given right to thrive entirely on your own terms, in accordance with your needs.
So keep working hard and don’t let the role you’ve been cast in decide what story you write for yourself. You’re the author of this story. Make it a great one.
Rooting for you,
E.B.
