Please Stop Telling People Their Trauma Is a Gift
There was no “meaning” and they weren’t given a “gift”. So please stop telling survivors that their trauma happened for a higher purpose.
by E.B. Johnson
There are few things that annoy me more than someone who calls trauma a “gift”. Or when someone tells me that my horrendous childhood was really a “blessing”. You know the ones. They’re usually the people who prop up their trauma as a facet of their personality. They make it the center of their lives and expect everyone else to do that too. To them, trauma is the root cause of meaning in their lives. Not only are these people delusional, they’re dangerous.
Why you have to stop telling people their trauma is a gift.
No one should ever be told that their trauma was a gift. Ever. This is one of the most toxic beliefs that we keep perpetuating — especially in healing spaces — and it teaches people to make more space for abusers than they make for themselves. Enough is enough. Stop telling people their trauma is a magical gift that they should be grateful for. You’re making yourself look ridiculous.
