The Curious Case of Why You’re Still Unhappy
You can’t achieve by achieving.
Why are you unhappy? Don’t glance past the question.
Really ponder it.
Is it the job? The relationships? Or perhaps, the unanswered ambitions sitting on your life’s shelf?
Dale Carnegie once said,
“Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.”
Ouch. That means the problem isn’t out there. It’s in you.
Think about it.
You’ve checked all the societal boxes. Job? Check. Friends? Check. But still, you’re yearning for something more.
Let’s talk about this craving, this itch you can’t seem to scratch.
See, the path you’re on — it’s paved with external milestones. It’s as if you’re on a perpetual treasure hunt, but the treasure keeps moving.
Confusing, right?
Turns out, the roadmap to happiness isn’t a straight line, and it’s definitely not one-size-fits-all.
What’s worse?
Even if you reach what you think is the ultimate destination, the joy is ephemeral. Like most, it evaporates.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can embark on the real journey — the journey inward.
Don’t roll your eyes just yet.
You can’t buy this kind of happiness. You can’t even achieve it by achieving.
It’s deeper. It’s about emotional wealth, personal growth, and relationships that matter.
So sit tight.
We’re about to delve deep into why you’re still unhappy, even when you’ve got it all.
Curious?
You should be.
The Problem of Chasing External Milestones
You’re chasing goals.
But they’re not really yours.
You want the top job. Why? Because society says it’s a measure of success.
Same with that shiny car.
Let’s not forget the perfect relationship that social media keeps waving in front of your face. Jim Rohn warned,
“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan.”
Scary thought, isn’t it?
A study by the Journal of Personality found that pursuing materialistic goals is linked to lower well-being and more distress in individuals.
Boom! A fact bomb right there.
So, not only is it stressful, but it’s also detrimental.
Remember those New Year’s resolutions?
Yeah, the ones you borrowed from your friend’s Instagram story.
How’d that turn out?
You see, chasing external milestones is like building a house on quicksand.
Fleeting and unstable.
Yet here you are, digging deeper and hoping the house won’t sink.
Hear me out. It’s not entirely your fault.
We live in a world teeming with irresistible distractions. Advertisements whispering, “Buy this, achieve that, and you’ll be happy.”
How many times have you believed that lie?
How many times have you fallen for it?
You’re playing a game, but you don’t even know the rules. You’re in a rat race but wearing a blindfold.
You’re chasing milestones, but they keep moving the finish line.
No wonder you’re unhappy.
Enough is enough.
When you chase external validations, you’re setting yourself up for a never-ending game of catch-up. It’s time to pause and ask:
“Am I playing the right game?”
If you’ve been in pursuit of society’s checkmarks, it’s time for a hard reset.
Switch lanes.
The lane where the milestones are built on your values, not someone else’s version of success.
It’s an Inside Job
Listen up.
Your happiness isn’t on loan from society. It’s not a rented apartment.
It’s your permanent residence, and you’ve got the keys.
Oprah Winfrey once said,
“The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams.”
So, why not furnish your inner home?
Got a mirror? Look into it.
Who do you see?
Is it you or a version of you shaped by other people’s opinions?
Let’s be honest. You’ve been outsourcing your happiness.
It’s time for a change.
According to the World Happiness Report, the factors most associated with happiness aren’t wealth, fame, or good looks. It’s social support and a sense of autonomy.
Ah, autonomy! The power to live by your rules. The sweet freedom of choosing your own path.
It sounds so simple, right?
Well, it’s not.
But it’s not rocket science either.
We often mistake comforts for happiness.
Your comfort zone? It’s a padded cell of your own making.
Time to break free. You see, external accomplishments offer short bursts of happiness.
Like sugar highs.
You come crashing down soon after.
Stop chasing external highs. Go for the inner gold.
Start by peeling off the layers.
What really makes you happy?
Is it really that corner office?
Or is it the sense of purpose that you think comes with it?
Redefine your milestones. Make them yours. You have a treasure trove inside you.
Haven’t found it yet? Well, start digging.
Focus on your personal growth, not societal norms. A fulfilling relationship, not Instagram-worthy photos.
Wisdom, not just information.
And when you do, you’ll find an unshakable inner contentment.
Author Mark Manson puts it aptly,
“The key to a good life is not giving a f*ck about more; it’s giving a f*ck about less, giving a f*ck about only what is true and immediate and important.”
So, weigh your choices.
What truly enriches your life?
The Not-So-Secret Secret
Okay, grab a seat.
Let’s have a heart-to-heart.
I bet you’ve heard this before: “Success is a sum of small efforts.”
Seems cliché, right?
But that’s the tea.
Famed life coach Tony Robbins nails it when he says,
“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”
Two words — Daily Habits.
Creating a habit isn’t a big, dramatic move.
It’s the little things. Like going for a run every morning.
Or journaling before bed.
Consistency trumps intensity. So, you don’t need to run a marathon.
But a 10-minute jog? Totally doable.
Author James Clear points out,
“You do not rise to the level of your goals; you fall to the level of your systems.”
The system? Your habits.
Okay, so you’ve got an idea. Now what?
First things first, cut the distractions.
I’m talking about the Netflix binges.
And endless scrolling on Instagram.
Turn those notifications off!
Your focus is sacred.
You’ll miss out, you say?
Wrong!
You won’t miss out on anything worth your time.
It’s called discipline, my friend.
In the words of the ancient Stoic philosopher Epictetus,
“We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”
You see, discipline isn’t a prison.
It’s your personal training ground.
Next up, break it down.
- One habit for your mental well-being.
- One for your physical health.
- One for your soul.
Think of it as your personal trifecta.
Start small and aim big.
Your first goal? Stick to it for a month.
How do you feel?
More energized?
Focused?
Yeah, that’s what I thought.
See, habits are the invisible architects of your life.
They design your day.
And before you know it, your life.
Every day is a new brick in your personal cathedral.
Each habit is a stroke of the artist’s brush.
So, grab those brushes.
Your masterpiece awaits.
And it starts with the not-so-secret secret of daily habits.
A little consistency today for a life-changing tomorrow.
Final Thoughts
In the words of motivational speaker Les Brown,
“You don’t have to be great to get started, but you have to get started to be great.”
You get it, right?
Becoming a better you isn’t a one-and-done deal. It’s an ongoing project. It starts small.
One habit.
One day.
One moment.
Forget the “New Year, New Me” hype.
Why wait? Your time is now. Not just because I say so. But because you feel it, right?
So, here’s the deal.
Let go of the comparison game. Your journey is yours alone.
Yeah, you might stumble. But that’s okay!
Even a masterpiece has its rough sketches.
And guess what?
You’re a work-in-progress masterpiece. Your canvas is far from finished.
Each brushstroke counts. Make it vibrant. Make it yours.
So, what are you waiting for?
Grab that brush. Your canvas awaits. And always remember: The best is yet to come.
Go on, start painting.
-Zohvib
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