Mar 16, 2021
The Growth Digest
Taking your personal growth journey to the next level.
The Best Stories This Week
These are the best and most popular stories on LV Development this week. Discover how you can safeguard your wellbeing and build better relationships. All while manifesting a life that is authentically your own.The most popular stories this week.
Being Lazy Is the Best Thing You Can Do Right Now
When was the last time you were lazy simply for the sake of being lazy? For most of us in western society, we’ve been sold the idea of laziness as the ultimate sin. To be lazy, we’re told, is to lose out on all the good things in life. In truth, though, laziness is a powerful self-care tool that can help ground us and re-center us around the things we love most in life. Do you feel as though you’re stuck in the crunch of a high-pressure lifestyle? Mindful laziness may be just what the doctor ordered.
Are You as Likable As You Think You Are?
We are living through unique times. Through the advent of social media and the growing trend of “individualism at all costs” — we have found ourselves in a place where we can feel more personally important than ever before. While feeling ourselves is great, it can come at the cost of likability. Are you someone who is easy to connect with? Or are you far less friendly than you think? Getting the answer requires embracing radical self-awareness.
Does Your Partner Care About You?
The intimate relationships that we build can be of great benefit to our lives, but they can also become a great struggle. We have to invest in the right people to find the right partnership, and that’s not something that we always get right. These should be people who care about us and want the best for us, rather than those who want to take from us or tear us down. Is that the partner you’re building your life with? Do they really care about you, or is the love lacking?
A few more of your favorites…
- Raising children is one of the greatest responsibilities we can take on. In order to give them the best chance of thriving, though, there are certain things they need to hear and feel from us as parents. Are you giving your children the words they need? The support and the love? I discussed what it takes to reassure children in this increasingly chaotic world.
- Does your partner control you? Do they try to tell you how to live? What to think? Or even who to socialize with? This week, I took you on a deep dive into controlling relationships, and the danger of allowing your partner to push you around.
- As we speak more and more about what consent means, it’s important that we pay attention to the “grey zones”. Even in a committed relationship, we can be pushed to give in to things that don’t feel right. Are you the victim of sexual coercion. Coercion is not consent and this is the difference you need to understand.
A word of advice
Q. How do I deal with my mother who is always blame shifting and being emotionally unavailable? (via Quora)
A. Dealing with this type of mother is devastating, and unfortunately there’s no easy answer. If someone won’t take accountability, we can’t force them. If they don’t want to open up to us, we can’t make them. We can’t make their pain our pain. We can’t stick around and keep beating our heads against a door that won’t open.
The only thing you can do is find a way to make peace in your own life. This is not something that will happen overnight, and it is not something that will happen easily. You have to control what you can control, though, and that’s how you feel and who comes in and out of your life.
No one has a right to make you feel bad. Not your mother or anyone else. Now is the time to be accountable for your own happiness and know that there are people out there who will give you that love and accountability you’re looking for.
In general, here’s 5 steps you can use to get started in separating yourself from your toxic mother:
- Accept who she is and accept that you can’t change her.
- Set the right intentions. You need to separate yourself, but you can’t do that as a means of “punishment”. She won’t change unless she wants to. Get clear of her because you want peace, not because you want her to come running to you.
- Sit her down and have an honest conversation. Tell her how her behavior is making you feel, and make it clear that your emotions aren’t up for debate. Say everything you need to say to her and be honest.
- Let go of the guilt and the shame. Her faults aren’t your fault. She is choosing to be the person that she is. It has nothing to do with you.
- Get away from her emotionally and spend time healing your inner child. Become the mother your inner child never had and allow yourself to heal.
More on dealing with toxic mothers here.
Relationship Renovator is out March 29th
My new book — Relationship Renovator — is coming to paperback and Kindle on March 29th, 2021! This is my debut deep-dive into the world of non-fiction, and my first time giving you a look into some of my relationship struggles. Join me on a journey as I explore how we build better relationships by first becoming better partners for ourselves. We all have a happy ending out there waiting for us, but it’s up to us to tear down the walls that are holding us back. When we deal with our trauma and find our own peace, we can set ourselves on a path to finding higher caliber partners and more transformative connection.
This book is a true labor of love, and one that I hope will help you discover unknown parts of who you are or what you want. Some topics you can expect to see covered in this book include:
- Dealing with childhood trauma in adult relationships
- Looking within to create better sexual intimacy
- The best ways to deal with infidelity and trust issues
- How to start a new relationship on the right foot
Are you ready to manifest a higher quality of love? Are you ready to find your soulmate or that deep sense of connection you’ve been looking for? This book is the gateway. It’s the first step on your path to enhanced intimacy and knowledge of self. When we know our happiness, we are better able to see that happiness in others. This is where we get started and put our feet on the path to a love that lasts the rest of our lives.
Sign up to my mailing list and make sure you get all the latest updates on Relationship Renovator and all the other big announcements I have coming out this year. You don’t want to miss anything — including the giveaways!
