The Growth Digest
Taking your personal growth journey to the next level with the best stories from E.B. Johnson.
My Best Stories on Medium This Week
Meanwhile, the growth and the opportunity never stops. This week, we discovered (and re-disocvered) some of my best articles on life, love, and everything in-between. These are the best and most popular stories from E.B. Johnson on Practical Growth (and beyond) this week. Discover how you can safeguard your wellbeing and build better relationships. All while manifesting a life that is authentically your own.
Your Friends Want You to Fail
One-sided and false friendships can become a common feature of the person who has a pattern of relationship dysfunction. These are people who wish you anything but well. Friends who would celebrate a fall, more than they would celebrate your wins.Be careful. Are you surrounded by false friends? More of them could be waiting for you to fail than you think…
Avoidant Personality and Relationships
Is Avoidant Personality Disorder tearing apart your relationships? It’s estimated that about 2.5% of the population deals with the symptoms of this behavioral pattern. Affecting both men and women equally, relationships can be warped and even destroyed by this chronic inability to get genuinely close to other people.
Emotional Labor Isn’t Free
Many people expect the closest people in their lives to do endless emotional labor for free. They reach out to them any time there’s a crisis or chaos, but they don’t always consider the costs on the other side. Emotional labor isn’t free, and that’s why we have to be conscious and aware of the price our loved ones pay for bearing our emotional weight…
A Few More of Your Favorites
More popular favorites from the Practical Growth blog.
- The wisdom of those who have gone before is invaluable. Their wit and insight allows us to find truth in our own experiences. That’s certainly the case for our relationships. Check out these 8 quotes that will change the way you see love and partnership.
- Are you being manipulated by someone you love? It’s not easy accepting reality for what it is. All the same, we have to be honest about what’s happening. When someone is pulling your strings, it’s important to be cautious and to protect your boundaries.
- Being raised by dysfunctional people often makes us terrible judge of character. When we can’t trust the people who raised us, we end up choosing people who betray us in the same ways. Are you putting your faith in the wrong people? You can’t afford to ignore these signs.
Programmed to Fail
Throughout our lives, we are handed a basket of programming. These programs shape our believes and our values. Our behaviors and even our relationships are shaped by them.
Being happy isn’t a matter of learning how to behave differently. It’s a matter of figuring out how to reprogram yourself authentically.
Taking control of your emotional health requires that you figure out:
- What corrupted programming looks like
- How to reprogram yourself for success
- Breaking cycles maintaining positive momentum
You receive programming from your experiences and your relationships every single day. It’s up to you which programming sticks. Are you willing to keep being unhappy? To keep being anxious and scared?
In order for us to live the most authentically fulfilling versions of our lives, we have to find the strength to be full ourselves.
That happens when you become the programmer of your own mind. Stop running programs that were made for you, and program yourself to be happy, loved, and successful in this life.
Answering Your Questions
Answering all your biggest questions. Have a question you want to ask me? Send it to me on Quora or TikTok.
Q. Someone I stopped talking to lost a loved one. We stopped talking on amicable terms, no bad blood, but would it be appropriate for me to let them know I’m available to talk? They have family members to talk to but I just empathize with them.
A. It’s always hard watching someone go through a pain we’ve already traversed. While it’s admirable that your heart is so large, it’s important to remember the pain and the chaos this person is going through.
A lot of people will be reaching out. Getting in touch. Putting themselves in the middle of this person’s pain, to make themselves feel better.
So ask yourself this — will your addition genuinely add to this person’s experience? If you haven’t talked for years, are they really likely to open up to you? To spill themselves for you? Did they do the same for you when you went through a loss?
Or, will you be another of dozens? Hundreds? Asking questions you can’t answer and stirring up emotions you’re struggling to comprehend?
The best thing is possibly just reaching out, letting them know you’re there and that you’re thinking of them. They will know that means you are open to them.
Anything else, prying any deeper…it’s important to ask yourself why you feel the need to do this? Do you genuinely empathize with them? Or are you trying to go back in time and heal your own wounds?
Whatever choice you make, insure it has the right intentions behind it. As you will know, intentions become plainer when you’re suffering that pain. And false intentions rarely play well when you’re in a dark place.
Either way, wishing the best to you and your friend.