The Parental Martyr: Spotting Narcissistic Parents In the Crowd
Did your parent have a martyr complex? Learning more about this narcissistic parenting quality can help you overcome it.
There is no doubt that my mother fancied herself a martyr. Any time she got the chance, she would complain about the trials and tribulations of her children. She loved to complain about the grief that we caused her and the ways we cornered her into a life that made her miserable. Yet she brought more and more children into the world. When she couldn’t do that, she reached for the phone and attempted to become a foster. She wanted a home full of children she could complain about.
This is a story that’s common with many a parental narcissist. They love it. Positioning themselves as victims to their children, they are able to paint themselves into a corner that is filled with pity and lots of emotional control. Narcissists have a compulsive need to both hide their worst sides and control how the world perceives them.
Parental narcissists achieve this easiest when they’re playing martyr over the constant victimization of their children. They raise themselves up on an unquestionable dais and it is the family who pays the price for their self-righteous narcissism.
