Why Your Narcissistic Family Chose to Gaslight You
Once you understand the reasoning, you’ll stop accepting it.
by E.B. Johnson
Imagine that someone close to you said or did something that really hurt your feelings. Maybe they called you a name, or made fun of something you’re really insecure about. Think of something that really cut you to the core, or a time someone really crossed the line.
Now, imagine you tried to tell that person how you felt. Instead of apologizing or trying to understand you — they dismiss the entire event.
“You’re crazy. That never happened.”
“It did.”
“Well then, you’re remembering it wrong. Or you’re being too sensitive. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Gaslighting. This is exactly what happens when a survivor tries to gain accountability (or just plain old acknowledgement) from a perpetrator, but can’t. Instead of holding space for their emotions, the person who hurt them shirks all responsibility by diminishing or dismissing the other person’s feelings or experiences.
Why is there so much of this behavior in narcissistic families? Is there anything we can do to stop it? The answers can be both empowering and disheartening, depending on how you look at it. As always…
