2 Short Stories to Help You Overcome Your Fear of Talking to People
The first one’s about breaking the ice with a cute girl
If there was an Oscar for the most terrified… socially-awkward person, I would win every damn time!
And so would millions who suffer from the fear of social interactions.
I know how it feels. I know how you feel.
Talk about that dreadful anxiety before every social gathering.
What if they ask about my job?
What if they ask why I’m single?
What if I run out of topics to talk about?
What if I greet a girl awkwardly?
This nervousness leads to mental exhaustion, often to the point of copping out at the last moment.
Eventually, it turns into a soul-sucking regret of running away from your fear every time.
But what if we see it this way…
Maybe we’re trying to play a game we know nothing about.
And maybe… just like any other game, all we need to do is:
- Learn the techniques.
- Practice them enough.
- Fail initially, nail eventually.
To make it super easy, the first story speaks about a quality you already have.
#1 — Leverage the unique quality you already have
Most socially awkward people have this innate quality. And their silence in social situations fuels that quality.
They observe. Deeply. Intently.
They observe way more than the average man.
What they don’t realise is that it’s a superpower. Fluent talkers and socially confident people use it all the time.
Ever seen a confident guy striking up a conversation out of thin air?
Well, it’s never out of thin air. These guys observe, too, just as intently and deeply as us. The only difference is:
- they realise the power of observation
- they use that power
Here’s a story of how I, the Oscar winner, started a conversation at the gym.
I saw this girl rotating, massaging and stretching her wrists after every set.
Her struggle was evident during sets too.
I knew what was happening because I’d gone through the same and had found a solution — wrist wraps.
- But I wasn’t sure if it would work for her.
- Not everyone appreciates advice at the gym.
- Most of all, I was scared.
However, when I passed her by while wearing my wrist wraps, she gave them a look. And that gave me some confidence that we had a common interest. I observed.
But by the time I mustered the courage to start a conversation, she’d left.
The next day, I saw her climbing the stairs, fastening her own wrist wraps.
“Are these helping with the wrist pain?”, I asked.
“Yeah, I recently went through a wrist injury and it’s taking a while to recover”, she answered right away.
“Oh I’m sorry to hear that. How did that happen?”, I questioned.
And we went on to have a long conversation.
Since then, whenever we see each other at the gym, we shake hands followed by a:
- How’s it going?
- Leg day, is it?
…and share a laugh or two.
“Boom! Nailed it”, I tell myself sometimes.
The biggest takeaway from this story is that observation is a powerful skill you already possess. Use it.
And a bonus lesson is never to make it a me-conversation. Offering advice would have made it so.
Instead, I asked her… a question and took an interest in her struggle.
I did what fluent talkers do when they’re trying to break the ice. I made it about her, not me.
But what if there isn’t a common interest? Then…
#2 — Start with this low-risk high reward method
We all draw inspiration from someone.
Sometimes, it’s from an individual, and sometimes, it’s from a group working with the same thought process. Put them in one room, and the aura is next-level.
I feel that aura in the gym.
Yes, it’s another gym story because it’s where I see myself and others fighting their inner demons and coming out strong.
More often than not, our confidence rides high.
Anyway, this one’s about a guy in his early 20s. I took a liking to him because I saw a 20-year-old me in him.
Shy. Earphones on. Keeps to himself and focuses on his workout.
Boy’s impressive, though.
His form is spot-on. I was particularly impressed with his chest dips. Spectacular posture, insane strength.
So, I decided to do the one thing someone in my early workout years did to me.
I complimented him.
“Bro, the way you perform every exercise with such finesse, it’s ridiculous and it’s so inspiring to see that”.
Lad gave me a shy smile, said thank you… and the ice was broken.
This way, I made another friend at the gym, something that the socially awkward me couldn’t have done in a million years.
And here’s the surprising bit. I never saw this as an exercise to overcome my fear initially.
- I genuinely wanted to give back to the gym community.
- And he truly deserved a pat on the back for his efforts.
I realised much later that this could be an excellent method to overcome our fear of talking to people.
I mean, think about it:
- Who doesn’t like a compliment?
- There’s a one-in-a-million chance it could fall flat.
Low-risk; high reward? What’s not to like?
And if your intent is pure, you can eliminate the risks altogether.
Above all, there’s no better feeling in the world than appreciating someone and seeing them light up.
Short Takeaways
- Leverage your observational skills by acting upon them. They’re more powerful than you think.
- Start with a compliment if you’ve got nothing else. There are barely any downsides to it.
My newsletter, Feel-Good Sundays is a weekly 2-course meal — a heartfelt story with a side of wisdom. So, the question is… can I indulge you in a story that fills your heart on a nice, relaxed Sunday? Click here if you’re in.
