A Copywriter’s Guide for The CLUELESS Husband
For Husbands Willing to Put in THE WORK
Remember that time you were both deep in a conversation, laughing, ending each other’s sentences, her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat and your fingers gently stroking her hair, you listened to her voice softly vibrate as she responded to your last question. You decided to match her with a witty comment and then…
The. Mood. Changed!
She sat upright — your chest suddenly wasn’t that comfy cradle for her head
Her back straightened
She avoided your gaze
Her voice became terse and her answer to your “Sweetie, what’s wrong?” question was a clipped “NOTHING!”.
You wondered what the heck just happened!
What did you say?!
What did you do?!
You are totally clueless about the reason for this strange and seemingly abrupt mood change in your wife, and you know for sure that this isn’t the first time it has happened.
A communication glitch is a friction in any kind of relationship, especially in marriage. It is a temporary disruption to the free flow of information between a husband and wife and its continuous, unresolved presence could create even more tense walls between them.
It’s very widespread knowledge that men and women view the world differently and are bound to use words and phrases — that may seem strange to the other party — to paint their experiences, thoughts, and views.
These differences in expression often cause irritation, sadness, disbelief, and other high-tension emotions.
Read these scenarios to learn where husbands are usually left befuddled:
SCENARIO 1: ” I AM DONE! “
I remember the time when I stepped into the bathroom to see smudged toothpaste and hair shed in the sink. I was riled up because I had harped on about this situation countless times with no change coming from my husband, except a rote apology not to have it happen again…and then it ALWAYS happens!
I embarked on a tirade about how I was tired of cleaning up after him and then closed my speech with “I AM DONE!”
He later told me that he thought I meant “done with the marriage!”
He said I had the look and voice tone that suggested that!
WHAT THIS MEANS: Your wife means that she is completely frustrated about your not honoring and acknowledging her pain, especially those that keep recurring…for some strange reason…
She sees a pattern and she is fed up with it!
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Acknowledge your shortcoming.
Be sincere with your apology.
Ask her — in a conducive setting — what exactly your action communicates to her and why it makes her feel emotional.
Commit to being more aware and mindful.
SCENARIO 2: “ IT IS NOTHING!”
WHAT THIS MEANS: She doesn’t trust herself -yet- to verbalize her hurt, frustrations, and feelings with you.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Ask her lovingly when would be a better time to communicate and you both commit to a definite day and location as required.
Do NOT bug her with persistent questions such as:
- “What is it?”
- “Why are you distant?”
- “Why are you not speaking?”
Ask her if a cuddle or hug would help and if she says yes, proceed to give her one. Do NOT turn it into a talkfest moment!
Sometimes loving silence is all that is needed to heal wounds.
SCENARIO 3: “YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME!”
WHAT THIS MEANS: She senses that you are not actively listening to her…maybe:
You often scroll through your phone
You are glued to your favorite TV show…or sports
You minimize what she says
You promptly dive into solution mode by offering her the perfect answer
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO:
Make her know that you pay attention to what she says by:
Rephrasing what she says to you in the form of questions and asking her if you got her right.
Maintain eye contact throughout the conversation.
Be aware enough that your body language isn’t suggesting f irritation or hurriedness.
“Carefrontation” is communicating with demonstrated empathy, care, and courage in resolving conflict or highly emotionally charged situations.
Use carefrontation in your next communication with her!
PARTING WISDOM:
Every woman wants to be valued.
Every woman wants to be seen.
Every woman wants to be heard.
Every woman wants to be loved!
Thank you for reading. Come by again!
