Adulting Doesn’t Have to be as Hard

If You Lean Into These…

Toyin Zuleiha
Practice in Public
Published in
3 min readMar 13


Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery:

Many have spoken about the scam that being an adult is. We thought it was all about being free to do whatever the fuck you wanted without any consequences because, after all, no one can beat you. But the things that beat have far-reaching consequences than the stroke of an elderly’s cane.

Anne Helen Peterson in the Buzzfeed article ‘How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation said, ‘expressions of “adulting” do often come off as privileged astonishment at the realities of, well, life: that you have to pay bills and go to work; that you have to buy food and cook it if you want to eat it; that actions have consequences.’

Being an adult feels like being kicked in the gut several times before you can comprehend and feel the pain of the first kick, another one lands and another one and another one, and then a kick to your head while you are reeling in pain.

You try to get up and keep moving with the pain, without fully understanding what’s going on, but you have to keep moving because you are in the middle of a busy highway and oncoming traffic would not wait for you.

I have had my slice of the pizza of life and adulting. I am constantly fighting my way out of a huge fabric wrapped around my head while I try to find the neckline.

Many people were eager to become an adult, it seemed like you enjoyed the best things, in my culture it meant you could eat your food with two pieces of meat as opposed to just one, that you didn’t have to sneak around to satisfy your craving of meat from your mother’s sizzling pot of stew. It meant you could lay claim to things without objection.

But for me, I wanted to be an adult just to be left alone, to be free from the constant badgering of adults around me. Finally, be how I want on my own schedule and timetable.

Eating whatever amount of meat I want feels nice but those are my least favorite things about being an adult. If you lean into some of these, being an adult wouldn’t suck as much

  1. Autonomy: Being an adult comes with a lot of autonomy. Nobody is making decisions for you anymore and telling you where to go. This can be scary for many because they have gotten used to being decided for, however, you’ll soon realise that they mostly don’t know what’s best for you and you’ll have to start trusting yourself more.
  2. Making Decisions solely because they are good for you: You are an adult now, and you don’t have to rely on anyone else to access the healing, care, or help that you need. You now have the knowledge and understanding to deal with life challenges and make choices that work for you. Leaning into this can help you become a better version of yourself because you no longer have to do things that are personal to you according to someone else’s whims.
  3. Freedom: With freedom comes great responsibility however, understanding that making decisions that are bad for you is of no consequence to anyone else other than you would help pull the brakes when you are heading down the wrong path.

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Toyin Zuleiha
Practice in Public

I like to expand your perspective and world view with my words. How To Put Yourself Out There on Social Media- course #ZuleihaXpressions