Building a Personal Network , Even If You’re Shy
How to make networking feel like hanging out with friends.
I’ve read plenty of business advice lately. They all have one piece of advice in common: networking is essential, which led to the question plaguing me. When I hear the word ‘networking’, images of being ignored, dismissed, or being overwhelmed by self-absorbed individuals pop to mind instantly.
You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. — Zig Ziglar
Were meaningful networking and fruitful connections as rare as unicorns? If they weren’t, how was I going to build this personal network? The sleazy used car salesman approach does not jive with me. So how was I going to start building professional relationships in a way that feels authentic most importantly I needed to know how to sustain those relationships over time.
Here’s what I found after digging for several hours on Google.
Think about building a professional network like building friendships
Reframing networking as building friendships. When I read this, something tense in the back of my mind finally relaxed. Networking just sounds so cold-blooded to me. But friendship? Friendship I can do.
Now that my mindset has been kicked over to a new lane. It is time to explore different ways to start these relationships in a way that feels authentic. And hopefully, unearth some doable ways to sustain those relationships over time.
Start with the first step ⟶ be proactive
The first step to building a personal network is to be proactive. What does this even mean? I wondered. Apparently, it means to remind oneself that you are worthy, that you bring a lot of value, and that you have interesting experiences and information to spread.
Building this confidence is key to being proactive and one way to be proactive is to reach out to people you admire or who work in your industry.
Do this today!
You can start by sending a LinkedIn message or email. Here are some sample messages:
Sample 1
“My name is [your name], and I’m a [add your professional title or experience]. Thank you for accepting my LinkedIn invite. I’m writing to you because [add one or two reasons why you found this person interesting]. If you find yourself with a hectic schedule, no worries. Can you suggest a contact in your network who might be open to a conversation like this?”
Sample 2
“Hi [Their Name], I’ve been following your journey and was truly impressed by [mention something specific you admire about their profile]. Your experiences and expertise resonate with my aspirations as a Solopreneur. I’m excited to connect, learn from your insights, and explore potential collaborations. To respect your valuable time, I aim for our interactions to be purposeful and efficient.”
Learn from the experts
Expert #1
Kaley Chu, author of “100 Lunches with Strangers,” shares her story of learning to build her network and how she built her personal network.
While evenings and weekends were needed for family time, as a mother of two kids, Chu says lunchtime was the only time she had for herself. Rather than eating alone, she decided to invite strangers to join her and use it as an opportunity to expand her connections and grow.
“In the beginning, it was really terrifying for me because I was so scared about meeting people and not knowing what to talk about,” says Chu. “But after a while, that’s actually the time that I’d look forward to. I’d be like, ‘Who am I gonna meet today?’ and ‘What story am I going to hear?’.”
Chu used LinkedIn as a platform to connect and invite people to lunch and says the rejection rate was around 90 percent. Determined to meet as many people as possible from different backgrounds, industries, and across different ages, she kept inviting people.
“I’d send them a message and go, ‘Hey, this is Kaley Chu here, I’ve got this New Year’s resolution to have lunch with 100 strangers and these are the photos and posts from my previous lunches and this is a little bit of information about me and I like what you’re doing and let’s catch up for lunch’.
“Some people say ‘yes’, other people say ‘no’, it doesn’t matter. I just keep meeting people from there.” — an excerpt from an interview she gave to Woman’s Network in Dec.2022
Inviting random though tenuous ‘contacts’ out for lunch sounds extreme. But I guess extreme results require extreme effort.
Experts #2
Former tech executive Eric Rodriguez and Gael Aitor, co-host of Teenager Therapy and co-founder of Astro Studios, help host Elaine Mata understand that networking is about finding ways to support other people and building long-term relationships. They share how they make new connections and build on them, as well as some of their networking horror stories. Catch this podcast on Listen Notes or on the Harvard Business Review sites.
Expert #3
Meagan Loyst moved to Europe and built her venture capital network from scratch. She shares her insights on how to build a network that makes you feel happy and that amplifies your strengths. Read the full original LinkedIn post here.
Seven ways to create a network of helpful people
Now that I know what some extreme effort with extreme results look like. What does medium to extra effort look like? Are there gentler ways to get results? Yes, that means the time horizon will be stretched out. Softer approach means it takes longer to produce results. Here are 7 softer ways to build these professional friendship nods:
- Stay top of mind
The №1 strategy when building any network is to stay top of mind.
I want to be the person or company that comes to mind in the critical moment when people are able to either recommend me or serve as brand advocates. Opportunities will grow like mushrooms after the rain! Can’t leave without 3 practical strategies to ensure we’re the one people think of when it matters the most:
3 Practical strategies to stay top of mind
(i.) Leverage consistent content creation
Your network remembers the active ones.
One of the most effective ways to stay top of mind is by consistently creating and sharing valuable content. Regular posting not only keeps you visible in your connections’ feeds but also establishes you as an authority in your field.
Pro tip
Create a content calendar to maintain a steady stream of posts, share insightful articles, infographics, and personal success stories. Engage with your audience through comments and discussions, building a sense of community and trust.
(ii.) Connect on a personal level
Relationships are at the heart of every network.
In an era of digital connection, building authentic relationships is paramount. Networking isn’t just about amassing contacts; it’s about nurturing meaningful connections.
Send personalised messages when connecting, and show a genuine interest in your connections’ interests and goals.
Pro tip
Use the “Follow Up” feature to periodically check in with your connections. Sending a personalized message or comment on their recent achievements can go a long way in strengthening your relationship.
(iii.) Join and create engaging LinkedIn groups
Communities are a great way to stay visible.
LinkedIn groups provide an excellent platform to connect with like-minded individuals. Participate in discussions, ask questions, and share your knowledge. Better yet, consider creating your own group around a specific niche or interest related to your business.
Pro tip
Keep the group discussions engaging and informative. Post regularly, and make sure to provide value to your group members. This not only keeps you top of mind within the group but also positions you as a thought leader in your industry.
Bonus tip
Consider collaborating with other influencers and thought leaders in your niche. Guest posting, co-hosting webinars, or participating in joint ventures can significantly boost your visibility and credibility.
2. Attend networking events
Attend networking events in your industry or community. This is a great way to meet new people and learn about new opportunities.
3. Volunteer
Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and give back to your community. It’s also a great way to showcase your skills and expertise.
4. Join professional organisations
Joining professional organisations is a great way to meet new people and learn about new opportunities. It’s also a great way to stay up-to-date on industry trends and best practices.
5. Use social media
Social media is a great way to connect with people in your industry or community. Use LinkedIn, Twitter, and other social media platforms to connect with people and share your expertise.
6. Ask for introductions
Ask your current network for introductions to people they know who might be able to help you. This is a great way to expand your network and meet new people.
7. Follow up
Following up is key to building a strong network. After meeting someone new, be sure to follow up with them and stay in touch. This will help you build a long-term relationship with them.
Networking boils down friendship. By being proactive, we can learn from the experts. Then you and I can build a community network of friends who we support and in turn support us and our businesses.
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